This time last year…

I CANNOT believe it is ALREADY October! October people… Where did the last year go? At the end of the month my lil cherub will be a year old… 1 YEAR OLD! It is maddeningly clichéd & scary how quickly time flies. It was this time last year I was having my last day at work and was nervous/hesitant/excited for the arrival of our little girl.

I remember the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy; I wasn’t that woman exclaiming “I’ve had ENOUGH, get this baby outta me!” but rather I think in the last 6 weeks I discovered that I LOVED being pregnant and having this human inside of me moving, playing, responding to my touch. I had so many melancholy moments where I wished I could keep her attached to me for ever… it was only really in the last week where I really felt huge, where going from a sitting position to standing required effort and I had to ‘hold’ the bottom of my belly if I stood up for too long.

I look at Amira now and I am amazed how fast she’s growing and am so hopeful for her and our lives together as a family. At the back of my mind there are so many fears that I have – will she realise how much I love her? Please let her be God-fearing, kind and good to her parents… will she realise the importance of education and constantly strive to better herself?

She’s 11 months now and I can already see little bits of personality shine through; how (for the most part) she is a pretty ‘cruisey’ child – she’s not fazed by much and is quite relaxed about most things; she’s not easily agitated and has always been placid. She’s an observer; when we get together for mothers group I notice how the other little girls are far more ‘rough and tumble’ – they attack toys and jump straight into ‘giving things a go’. Amira will watch them, observe then then decide from there. She’ll hold a toy and REALLY look at it; pass it from one hand to the other and then play with it. She seems to be a quiet, persistent achiever – I’ve noticed this on more than one occasion but it was never more evident than when she learned how to stand herself up against the sofa. She’s a happy baby but doesn’t laugh at everything – she makes you work for her laughter which I find so enduring.

Even as I type all that I can see her so clearly in my mind’s eye; as though I am in my living room and am watching her play with her toy Dora kitchen (and not sitting in my TV room while she’s sleeping for the night), I get all teary just thinking about how much I love her (I know, SO LAME!).

 

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The baby that won’t sleep

What’s happened to my baby? She’s now eight weeks and the last two days have been chaotic!

I blame the “festive” season & the heat here in Aussieland… Our place sadly has no air-conditioning; which seemed an ok money saver when we were building but now we’re in the house & summer has arrived it has NOT been fun for hubby (strangely I deal better with the heat – hubby is certain this is because of my “desert people” heritage!) and now with baby I must admit I feel terrible for her… Especially since she can’t seem to get a decent sleep unless she’s swaddled (have you tried to swaddle a baby in 40degree Celsius heat?).

So, back to the baby – for the last week any semblance of “routine” has been thrown out the window… Hubby’s been off from work & likes to go out so that already affects lil Amira’s routine with me, then there was Christmas day (+night) at my inlaws which meant a SERIOUS disturbance to her sleep structure… Then boxing day at my mothers then dinner that night at the inlaws, then there were other get togethers we had to attend & let’s not get me started on the new years+birthday party we had to attend…

And now I am back at square one again I feel… With a baby who I’ll have to go through the “cry it out” method for a bit as over the last week she’s been molly- coddled by everyone who goes “Ooohhh isn’t she cute?” and wants to touch & hold… *sigh*

Then yesterday I noticed that getting her down in the daytime was beginning to NOT happen… Like, three quarters of the day from 9am to 8pm was spent with her being awake… Is this normal? Shouldn’t she be sleeping more? Isn’t that why they say it’s ‘eat, play + sleep’ not eat, play, eat, play etc… Seriously it’s enough to make me run from the house in frustration! To make me really test my patience my mum will continuously call me during the day… At first I tried answering each call – thinking that maybe if I DID speak to her once a day she’d be satisfied, but then she’d be like “oh, I’ll talk to you later on this afternoon ok?” to “come over again tomorrow with the baby…” to “why don’t you & the baby sleep over sometime” to her wanting to talk to me 3-4 times during the day… I mean what ELSE is there to talk about? And just because I’m officially not at work doesn’t mean I have nothing to do – I have a bloody newborn baby to contend with!

So – if anyone has any advice or hope for me; especially in relation to daytime no sleeping baby I would VERY MUCH appreciate it!