The last 24 hours…

9 missed calls.

ONE issue

That I have, had and continue to discuss numerous times.

On every call – as soon as I pick up DIRECTLY after I reply “alaikum salam”

At no point am I asked if I can talk right now or if I’m busy

At NO point am I asked how I AM – not EVEN as a rhetorical question!

Two missed calls in the morning by 7am – I called back and provided advice… she disagreed with the advice & I say; “ok, buts that my opinion… I can’t talk today as I’m work…” She said that she was calling to ask what she should do: I told her that yesterday when I spoke to her I told recommended what she should do and then discussed why I thought that was the best option but that she still decided to do it her way so that really as she was going to do it her way she should just go ahead and do so as I don’t know anything.

FOUR missed calls after that conversation (within a 2 hour period) yielded but one VM *amazing – just one? The most notable quote in the message that I am certain is meant to make me call her ASAP but instead had the exact opposite effect which frustrated me to no end as I am beyond dealing with this same “STUFF” all the time: “you trying to kill me – this is why you not answer your phone?”

I mean really – really? At what point does a person ask themselves “the current approach I am trying is not working; perhaps I should try another?” or “my daughter actually never asks me for anything anymore except to look after her baby but once a week – WHY does my adult daughter not rely on me?” or even “hmm – maybe it’s not everyone else around me… maybe it’s me?” 

FYI: I have tried on many occasions to approach my mum’s idiosyncrasies in more than a few different manners: I have tried the “I will do it all for you before you even ask & you will find things are just mysteriously done for you” approach… I found this was NOT a good option as whilst I don’t expect to be given words of praise I would like to have some mild acknowledgement for my contribution no to mention ist is a LOT harder doing everything when trying to juggle that, a child and all other wifely+house duties + work!. Using this methodology only made her think of more things for me to do and buy for her without her realising that I was already doing so much. I’ve tried the “I will show you once so that you can do it for yourself”, this resulted in what I have coined to be the “I will show you again for the 20th time in a row so that I can fool myself into thinking that you may eventually want to do it for yourself”. I have tried the “I am not doing anything for you and you will somehow find a way” which led to a BARRAGE of calls and messages and crying but that she somehow was able to get stuff done (proving all along what I knew: that she does know what she’s doing but prefers me to do it for her!) but also led to me feeling that I was/am a terrible child and should at least endeavour to help her where I can!

The methodology I now live by is one I can emotionally handle (that is, doing it this way does not make me feel entirely like I am the worst offspring in the world) wherein I provide advice, I listen and help up to 3 times relating to the same issue and with each subsequent time I remind that I have shown/done/advised her on this matter yesterday/earlier today/today, yesterday and the day before and then (just as clearly) advise that “this is the last time I am talking/helping you with this..” if it is mentioned again I either dismiss it or ignore it or end the call with “I love you, assalamu alaikum…” I have dubbed this my “baseball: 3 strikes” method

Honestly- if I could somehow manage to move to some far flung country I would!

If any of you say I should be ‘more patient’ let me tell you now: BITE ME! Until you have walked a mile in my shoes you have NO idea how constant this is and just how impatient she is/can be… you have no idea how the family members who used to tell me to ‘be more patient’ and ‘make dua for it to be easier’ have now finally seen a glimpse of just how she can be because now when she visits them it is without me to ‘buffer’ the way she is…

NOTE: Since typing this I have received an additional 3 missed calls and another message!

Oh and you can bet I am making dua for this whole ‘situation’ to be easier…

ON ANOTHER NOTE: Happy new year people! Welcome to 2014!

Just an idea; tell me what you think?

I have just had a “smashing” idea… or rather its what I think may be smashing… due to said uncertainty I thought I would put it all out there for you the blog-readers to tell me if you think its good idea or if I need my head read!

Firstly I have told myself that if you all think this is a good idea I WILL be commencing it about a week from my return from Melbourne and that I am determined to maintain this idea!

So here it is:

Password protected blog posts that are photos; of me, of Mr A, of Susi… of what’s happening in my life!

So simple and yet something I have avoided in order to keep some level of control over the whole “putting myself out there”. I figure that if its password protected than at least if people are interested they’ll have to let me know and then I can give them/you the password!

Let me know people…

I look forward to your thoughts!

Just call me stupid!

On Friday Mr A and I went shopping; we were looking for jeans for him and I had mentioned that Guess had 50% off a few of their styles.

After finally finding a pair of jeans for him we had a little more of a wander and went into David Jones and had a littler peruse of the handbag department. I showed him this cute Juicy Couture bag that was $725 (obviously Australian Dollar) and told him that he should be grateful that I don’t ask him to buy it for me… and then he spots this gorgeous orange leather DKNY bag that I must admit I find myself drawn to…

Mr A: Isn’t this one nice?

Me: Ooohhh – that’s pretty…. *walking over and now holding it in my hands*

Mr A: you should get it – I like it

Me: *Looking at the price tag* I do really like it…. nah, its ok sweetie; its $575… we can use that money on something else when we’re in Melbourne.

Mr A: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah, that’s fine; come on, lets get some dinner…

It is now Monday and I am now wondering if I am a BIG idiot for saying no to not only a new handbag but a DKNY one at that!

I saw it again today when I was cutting through David Jones – the damn thing looked as though it was sniggering at me… telling me that I nearly had it… I cannot believe that I actually think I like it more now than on Friday night!

What do you think? Idiot or not

My (little) quirk

Well – I have discovered the washing machine!

Now before you all tell me that this wondrous machine has been in wide circulation for ages ago I need to tell you what the heck I’m going on about….

I wash (almost all) my clothes by hand.

There we go – I put it out there. Like an alcoholic the first step is to admit you have a problem. I wash most of my clothes by hand…. And I enjoy it.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the value of a washing machine; in fact I do put my most of my sheets, my doona/quilt covers and pajama’s and socks in the washing machine BUT the following items are all hand washed;

Jeans – my logic (which has been proven) is that they keep their shape & color for longer when hand washed (and at the price I pay for a pair of bloody jeans it had better go the distance!).

All my whites – I have no idea why but they seem to look whiter when they’re hand washed. And at least this way there are no nasty surprises when the machine has somehow ‘missed’ a stain!

All my silk & satin attire – I have a few soft satin shirts that would make me fall to my knees crying if they snagged in the washing machine!

My satin sheets & pillow cases – yes, this is the MOST tiresome one to wash… lil me trying to wash a queen-size satin sheet is somewhat of an ordeal… they are heavier than they look when wet! BUT they are worth the frustration when I see how pretty they look on my bed. And the satin pillowcases are blissful for my curly hair (hey – if its good enough for Nicole Kidman and keeps her curly hair frizz free I am MORE than happy to oblige my hair to such small luxury!)

All my T-shirts – again this is primarily done to maintain shape.

All my blacks are hand washing only with other blacks – not to be a ‘color-ist’ or anything but I find that my black clothing seems to stay blacker for longer because of the hand washing

All my pants – well I’m already hand washing the tops so I may as well do the pants!

All my underwear – again, from a lifespan point of view I have proven that hand washing is by far the better alternative!

BUT now that I am not with mum anymore I don’t know how long I am going to be able to keep up the hand washing? I fear that I will resort to throwing everything into the washing machine and already the very thought of it makes me want to cry at the misshapen clothes that will ensue!

It reminded me of my uncles maid (no, not the one who wants to buy an emperor penguin) who he bought for her this whizz bang washing machine; the kind that senses how many clothes you have in there to fill the water accordingly… she (the maid) watched my uncle and aunt demonstrate to her how this would make her life so much easier – how she would have more time to do other things and get a chance to actually relax once in awhile. I stood behind them as they showed her how much detergent to put in there and which buttons to press for when she was doing all the whites. Then the next day I saw her bring up the huge pile of washing up to her bathroom. I asked her about the washing machine and if she needed some help. No; she told me to help bring the other basket of dirty clothing and told me that she would not use the washing machine; that she had never needed it before and didn’t my aunt have the whitest prayer scarves? Didn’t my uncles white business shirts gleam with crisp whiteness? Didn’t my uncle have gloriously white thobes to wear?

The following year when I went to visit them I witnessed another ‘modern’ appliance my uncle had installed for the maids– a new iron and microwave. When the maid went to iron the clothes she brought out the ‘other’ iron – telling me to not tell my uncle that she still had this one in her possession. Apparently my aunt had caught her refusing to use the new iron and decided to ‘get smart’ and instead of insist she use the new one she just got rid of the old one (seriously, this thing is old! Its heavy and doesn’t do the steam thing; although I suppose we should be grateful that it actually runs on electricity… oh and it get beyond hot). Anyway; the maid found it and retrieved said item. I asked her what was going on (I’ve known her all my life and have always loved just chatting to her) and that in all honesty the iron was pretty much top of the line! She told me that it’s not the same – that the old one gets hotter (yeah – scaldingly so) and that it was heavier (apparently that’s a good thing?). I explained to her about the whole steaming thing but she said that her little spray bottle + 2 drops of rose water for fragrance was SO much better (I have to admit that her freshly washed and ironed clothes are beyond luxurious… and the sweet smell *swoon*).

Meanwhile the microwave is being used as additional bench space!

I have been told that I will probably stop hand washing once I am either married or with young children. I personally don’t think that getting married is going to stop me as in all seriousness I have; in the last few months, taken to hand washing some of Mr A’s more expensive shirts (I was amazed at how quickly he was going through them because he was machine washing!!!)… I do think though that I may be slightly less obsessive once I have kids (but more because of the time constraints)


Deliciously D wrote a post about the worrying fashion trend of man-leggings (meggings). I read an article about the same topic a few days ago and must say that I blocked it out of my consciousness due its absurdity! I agree wholeheartedly with you Delicious… a man should be a man, should be a man! Leggings do NOT make a man (seem like a man!).

I have enough to lament about with men wearing skinny leg jeans and insisting of having their underwear hanging out of it so that the wait sits half-way down their butt! Why??? Oh why???

Does any woman out there find this look sexy? Attractive? Appealing?? And if so please tell me why? Please elaborate???


Since we’re on the topic of leggings I also don’t understand the fascination for brightly coloured metallic women’s leggings. It’s not right!

WARNING: you will not look (this) hot wearing these!

WARNING: you will not look (this) hot wearing these!


I hopped onto the whole leggings wearing bandwagon rather late (comparatively to the likes of Lindsay Lohan). But will attest to now being firmly planted in the ‘leggings wearing love zone’ as well as admitting to more than liking their wearability and ‘comfortability’ and will even admit to owning and wearing (matte) rose pink tights (that I wore last winter and only ever wore them with my black or grey knit dress and black mid-calf flat boots – but I swear to you: I totally pulled them off!). But I ardently believe – nay, proclaim that no one should be wearing wet-look metallic bright wet-look leggings!


Hear me people – NO ONE!


The ONLY time that you this is allowable is if you are going to an 80’s themed costume party!


So if you are reading this with the intention of making this said ‘item’ part of your fashion wardrobe let me warn you of the following things to watch out for:

A)    Those people looking at you are looking at you not because you look good but because you look like a twit!

B)     Just because Sienna Miller and Kate Moss can pull of wet-look silver metallic leggings does NOT mean you can! However, if you ARE either of those girls – then please, don’t let me stop you – heck, write me a comment so I can brag that you read my blog!

C)    If your friends smile every time they see you wearing them its not because they are happy to see you – its because you look like a fool (and as Mr T once said: “I pity da foo”)!

D)    If the salesperson at Sportsgirl or any other store tells you that you look good in them let me tell you that they are LYING! (I have a lime green bubble top that I purchased in my mid-teens that I was told looked great on me – I cam home and my mother told me I looked like an overweight fluoro-lime… it was a valuable lesson learnt early on!)

E)     If you see them on sale – ask yourself… WHY are they on sale?? It’s not so hard to figure it out…

Are these your new pair of jeans?

Jeans… glorious jeans… but how about these?


do these have your name on them?

do these have your name on them?


Hmm – I don’t know what on earth to say about these jeans – I suppose some people could say that as its retailing (online) at US$86  and you get a pair of jeans and a bikini that it is an economically sound purchase…. But really??? Who likes these?? Why? WHY??


Strangely enough I have a prophecy that I’ll be seeing these jeans on the street of Bangla Road in Phuket (Thailand)… not necessarily worn by tourists if you catch my drift (if you don’t, I am referring to the many poll-dancers and the ‘lady-boys’). Actually now that I think about it I can envision ‘Lil Kim wearing these (to the Grammy’s)!


I love my denim – skinny leg, bootcut, flared, low-rise, dirty denim, indigo (oh how I really love my indigo jeans) – I either have had my lustful phase with them (namely the dirty denim which I had worn to death and are probably still in a Salvation Army bin somewhere) or have found a soul mate (oh indigo flare jeans you are a trusted faithful partner) and keep going back for more! Seriously – I am so in love with my Gripp Indigo jeans that I bought a back-up pair for when the ones I currently have are worn out (they look sssoooo slimming)! I have gray jeans, black jeans, the ‘not quite gray’ and yet ‘not quite black’ jeans, the ‘perfectly-slightly-faded’ blue jeans, the ‘designer’ jeans and of course the Sass & Bide jeans.


I can’t believe I am about to write this but I have a pair of beautiful (I swear, they really are nice) ‘I-can’t-bear-to-throw-you-out’ pink musk pair (I can’t bear to get rid of them because the fit is perfect, the bootcut exceptional and that price I paid for it was a tad expensive) purely an impulse buy at that time that currently sit  at the bottom of my drawers that I occasionally think about throwing out but somehow never do! When I think of my school years I remember Dachet Jeans (oh my god – does anyone else remember these?) and when I was intensely into my homie phase my big blue baggy (like seriously baggy) jeans (oohh – Cross Colours and Kriss Kross have a lot to answer for) and my baggy overalls (that you never actually had fully done up) where I was the first female in my school to jump onto that bandwagon!


At uni I had tan jeans (ohhh – crazy, creepy man Dan fondly; in stalker-like ways remembers how fantastic my tan coloured jeans were), I even once-upon-a-time had white jeans (these are looonnnnggg gone thankfully), the ‘blackest of black’ jeans (great for night-time), I had the jeans with the studs going up the side (when that punk-rock look was mainstream), I had ‘pretty’ jeans; the ones with a gorgeous filigree print on the back (bum) pockets, the insanely low rise its almost a crime jeans (that I must say I ensured never to have the G-string look happening – put on a longish top/business shirt and all is good!).


Meanwhile I have not jumped onto the high-rise jeans look – being that I’m not quite the tallest gal here I can’t get into this look! Unless you’re insanely tall or on a runway I don’t think it quite works. I have seen a few girls on the street wearing this current style but personally there have been slim pickings to who actually looks good in them… oh well – to each their own!


So here I sit – wondering who else (beside ‘Lil Kim and the ‘girls’ in Thailand) will wear these jeans (because although I may be a marketer’s dream ain’t NO WAY I’m wearing these), wondering what the avid denim lover thinks at these jeans… have another look people… tell me what you think…


Here’s some info (about them);

v     Made by Japanese clothing company; ‘Sanna’s Brazil Fashion’

v     Ultra low-rise jeans that come with its very own matching bikini bottom

v     The wearer needn’t bother with underwear – pants are theoretically held up with strings on the side

v     Pants can be bought online for about US $86

More of Nancy

The hilarity of Nancy… the hilarity in her idiocy! We went over there on Friday evening (because Mr A had to help Nancy’s boyfriend with something… something about crushing cardboard boxes, whatever; I wasn’t really paying attention!) the whole time I sat there with her talking all she did was (occasionally) talk to me whilst scrolling on the CNN website reading the news! That’s it! Her boyfriend; Steven congratulated us on the engagement – but Nancy said NOTHING! Didn’t ask about the ring, about how he proposed… NOTHING!!! I mean, its not that I wanted to gloat (because I didn’t… I swear!) but every single female or gay person I know asks to have a look at the ring! I mean seriously!!!!! On the upside due to Nancy’s normal intense scrutiny of everything I did manage to get Mr a to give me all the details about my gorgeous bling (there was definitely a silver lining in the Nancy cloud as now I have the low-down on all the ring details – I called Susi the next day gasping with all the details while we both swooned!).


Anyway, she asked me if I would be going to the after Christmas sales on the Boxing Day public holiday. I told her that I would be but that I wasn’t too excited at the HORDES of people and their dawdling walks around the mall.

Nancy: Not many people where I go. I only go to David Jones and Speciality Boutiques anyway

*David Jones is deemed to be the upmarket department store of Perth, stocking designer brands, white goods and a food emporium, upmarket ‘supermarket’ and an awesome chocolatier*

Me: uhhh… David Jones gets pretty busy after Christmas what with the great discounts and the range.

Nancy: yeah, I don shop on first floor, it’s too common. I only go upstairs – where they have the designer clothes… you know; the good things.



Our friend ‘Craig’

Susi and I have this friend – ‘Craig’… but here’s the twist, Craig is a girl! I need to give you that piece of information so you understand that the mistakes this girl makes are innately, insanely and maddeningly female! I think that due to the confusion (regarding her “name”) that I will need to take charge here (sorry Susi) and change her name to Carly… so just so you understand:

Craig is Carly

Craig = Carly

I will (from this moment onwards) be calling Craig, Carly… 

So this Carly chick has some serious issues with finding any sort of silver lining in her clouds… she has faced so many trials (both literally and metaphorically) that if Susi and I wrote out a list of all the things that she has had to face within a year you would shake your heads at us and call us a liar! I kid you not!


Her latest escapade has involved a situation with a man called ‘John’ who she met on Facebook (yes, the Facebook hook-up continues!) and they hit it off – fast forward a little bit (two or three days)  and they start email-flirting and then going out. This chick used to be a really good friend of mine… then it all went bad (that’s another post), she is now the ‘friend I keep at a distance’ – more for my own sanity than anything else; anyway, back to the situation at hand… 

She messages me telling me about said ‘wonderful guy’ – I respond saying that I hope it all works out and to take things slow… I tell her to NOT hit fast-forward on this relationship… she calls and we discuss this issue where she explains that when you’re older you no longer want to play games and when you know its right you know its right – that both parties involved are far more honest and therefore relationships have a tendency to progress faster…




This gal has a problem issue with people giving her advice – she will pretend to listen and then tell you “you don’t understand” because “you haven’t been through all these life experiences” (that she has) because she’s 4-ish years older than Susi and I! Susi has far, far better coping skills than I do… that’s all I’m gonna say about that! I told her that in my experiences listening to my cousins and all the stuff I learnt in psych that the older a guy gets the more fearful he is about the ‘overly keen’ woman – he is used to being on his own and therefore in most cases doesn’t really think he needs a woman… that these older guys are pretty clued up to a woman’s ‘womanly ways’ (read: games) but that the older they are the more cautious, diplomatic, slow and steady you need to take it (seriously, I have stats to prove this point – don’t think I’m making this up)… men do not like change; they work on the adage that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it! Broad statement I know – but so far I have yet to have it proven otherwise (oh, but they exceptions include more than willing to change to a newer, larger, better TV,  new gaming console, smaller, slimmer phone… you catch my drift!) I tell her all this… to which her response is – “well, it’s all good – I know exactly what I’m doing… in fact this weekend we’re going away together!”



Fast forward a few dinners (where I had to hear from Carly her dissection of the situation between the 2 of them and Susi…) and a Halloween party and all this staying over at each other’s houses (are you cringing yet at the speed this relationship is going???) and lo and behold he breaks up with her (total amount of time knowing each other: 2 months)…


His break-up conversation with her included lines like:

“… you always seem to have huge issues going on…”

“… I think you need to resolve your issues before you get involved in a relationship”

“… we have different expectations in this relationship”

“… I have a lot of things going on at work – I don’t need the added stress of this relationship”

And the best one of all time: “… I think we need space”

These are all direct lines that she had said he told her…  Ouch!


So they broke up… and when I called her to see how she was doing she was taking it pretty bad – she thought this was it; she really liked him – she cared about him, she really wanted to make this work. She knew that she had issues but thought she was getting through them…. she wanted him back!


I told her to think about what she really wanted here, that sometimes it is better to just cut your losses and move on. To have some time by herself – she’d had a shit year (total understatement) and that she needed time to rebuild herself.  

So now it has been nearly 2 weeks from said break-up. She emails me saying that she misses him and wants me to help get him back… I put on my psychologists hat (while thinking: caution, ice-berg ahead) and tell her to not go there unless she really wants him back for the right reasons. I ask her what she misses in him (ahem, except the obvious!)

She responds with:

I miss his friendship – I don’t want him back.

He had told me in the last few weeks of our relationship

that he no longer found me sexually attractive.

I just miss the friendship.


Oooohh, none are so blind as those who do not wish to see… or something along those lines! She continues to tell me that she wants to send him an email – just to say hi offcourse… I give the necessary quick precautions: do NOT send him something long and do not force a response. If he does not reply leave it.  

Oh dear readers – why oh why must some girls insist on prolonging the pain? Do you think he responded to the email right away? Hhheeellll no! Finally, two days later (today) he responds:


Hi Carly, 

No, I’ve never said that I respond to personal emails that way. I’m not mad at you for returning the box.


I am keeping distance from you because clearly your feelings haven’t changed, and it’s impossible to be just friends at the moment. Maybe in a few months – not days we may end up as friends, but right now you’re making the same old impatient mistakes and I need to give you time to work through your feelings yourself. 

Take care of you and your dog.


Well – needless to say – (double) OUCH!

Clearly her orinigal email to him was slightly more than “hope you’re doing well” – I wonder if this is why she chose to not tell me about it??? 

If she had told me about this email before she responded I would have told her to leave it – to not respond! Or if she had to, to limit herself to half the number of lines he had emailed her… and so when she sent me her response I read it… oh the cringe factor…


Hi John 

I can see where you’re coming from and why you’d see things that way. 

We were more friends and that is what I miss my friend. I’m not looking to get back together with you. That is done and dusted. The magic stuff is gone. I am resilient I accept and have even moved on. I am going out this weekend! Once I actually split its final.


 We had not gotten serious I really care about you but I do know the difference between that and being in love. I’m more upset over losing you as my friend. My friends are my family – my everything.  

Boyfriends come and go but friends are for always (stupid staying but true for me)


And months to a dog is years 


Where does one go with this? Where oh where?

Now I’ve heard it all!

no thanks - i don't eat bacon no more!



People – let me quickly say this… I like Michael Jackson music. I think he is AMAZING at what he does… I believe that we may never see another artist to writes, creates, choreographs his own music, produces and edits his videos but I think this time things have gone far, far too far!


At first when Sam at work told me what had happened I thought he was playing a trick on me – waiting to see my reaction (well he didn’t have to bloody wait for very long!)… In my yearning to discover the ‘truth’ I went onto Google (such a reliable source, I know!) and located the article – I have attached it below.


Michael Jackson has ‘converted to Islam’

November 21, 2008 12:40pm


MICHAEL Jackson has converted to Islam and changed his name to Mikaeel, according to reports.

The singer wore traditional Islamic dress as he pledged his allegiance to the Koran at a friend’s home in Los Angeles, The Sun reports.

Jackson, who was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, reportedly decided to convert after discussing religion with a music producer and songwriter on his new album – both of whom were converts to Islam.

The Sun reported singer Yousef Islam – formerly known as Cat Stevens – turned up to help Jackson celebrate.


I mean; I know that in Islam it doesn’t matter if your black or white

And that although he’s a thriller, to our religion he may be dangerous

I mean, I do remember the time when he was (what society would deem) ‘normal’


Ok, ok… I’ll stop now! I know its lame – but I just couldn’t resist…


I’ve said this once in jest but now i am beginning to wonder: do we, as a united Muslim community need to create some sort of psychological measure to aide us in determining mental stability? I mean really – people who want to join the army have to do psychological testing… and they get given tanks, guns and taught to work ‘smart’ bombs…


If this is true; I want to meet the Imam that was there for the conversion… did he add his famous “he-he” at the end of Sha-hadah (what one says to become Muslim)? Who thought this was a good idea? Are we trying to beat the Church of Scientology to see who can get the higher amount of crazy’s eccentrics we have?  Now that I’ve said all of this I will say: may Allah help us all, and may Allah open his heart to ‘normalcy’!

Motherly Murmurs (Part 3)

*As I am getting ready to leave for work today*

NB: its casual Friday


Mother: I like your top – the colour is nice… it looks good on you


(Its this faded retro-orange shade – the writing on it that says: Hello Sunshine, Hello Mountain Dew – the ‘mountain dew’ part is the actual logo for the drink!)


Daughter: ooohh, thanks mum…


Mother: I’ve never seen you wear it before… where did you get it from?


Daughter: oh, Mr A got it for me a little while ago


Mother: oh… have a good day at work.


I wonder if now she doesn’t like it as much?

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