Muslim-world Problems…

I have JUST had the funniest conversation that can ONLY be had in the Muslim/Arab world!

Got a call from a mobile number that I did not know – I answered thinking:


“Assalamu alaikum Farah, this is Isa; I got your phone number from my sister.  I am friends with your brother and need to contact him but don’t have his number with me on this phone. Could you please either give me his mobile or pass on a message to him for me?”

Me: “alaikum salaam – um; I think you have the wrong Farah – I don’t have a brother….”

Isa: “oh – sorry… which Farah is this?”

Me: “that’s ok… which Isa is this?”

Isa: “its Isa XXXXX” (that’s obviously not his surname)

At this point I had worked out which Isa it is and we start to have a good chat (and a chuckle) as to who we are and ask each other’s respective family’s and how old our little babies are etc…

I got off the phone and could not help but smile and think: definitely Muslim-wold Problem!

Plumber Price Check… love it!

You gotta love ethnic parents – its almost as though their thought process is different to ours; sometimes i just think that its because they don’t have a mental ‘censor’ in their mind so what they think just comes straight outta mouth. I wonder how this censor gets “deactiviated”? Does it happens as they go through customs when they arrive to either Australia, America or wherever they decide to live outside the “mother-land” – where as they pass though the metal detactor it must remove it from their consciousness or somehing… who knows! Or maybe its just that they are more willing or don’t care what others think & therefore just speak the thoughts that we would LIKE to say but are too scared don’t?

Last weekend when i visited m mum she had the most annoyingly dripping tap – she mentioned that had a few other “water” related issues and i suggested that she call a plumber- not THAT day, as it was a Sunday but to call on monday morning and organise for someone to come. I obviously then was the person who had to find said plumber, call said plumber and ascetaain Sunday call outs versus Monday call outs and then give her all details PLUS write them down and then confirm with her (many times during that day) that she was to call back on Monday morning and arrange the booking as the would not let me make a booking that day (i have no idea why!).

Said plumber came on Monday and set about resolving all the issues that that mum presented him with. After being there for 40 minutes mum was satisfied and he wrote out a bill for mum… when mum was telling me all this; all things seem relatively normal at this point… and then it went a little “haywire”….

The bill said: “1 hr, $178”

My mum said to the plumber “this wrong – you are here only 40 minutes!”

He told my mum that he charged in half hour blocks and that when you exceed the half hour block then charge you the full hour… whilst i may not agree with this rationale it DID make some sense so i continued listening to mum….

“Then the man he said – you have something else for me to fix? i can have a look?”

Obviously this guy was thinking “ooohhh, if i start looking at something else now i may ‘clock’ past the next haf hour block!” BUT this man CLEARLY had no idea what he was up against!

Mum thought of the things she wanted to get done in the house and said to the plumber “yes – you use hammer and put these 2 frames on the wall for me AND change battery in my smoke alarm!”

The plumber (i assume aghast at my mum’s request) said – and i am QUOTING what my mum said to he had told her:

“Lady, I’m a PLUMBERNOT a handyman!”

My mum’s reply was even MORE golden: “you want one hour money – you do one hour work!”

I could not help but laugh at what mum had said – i actually asked her what happened next – she said that even though he mumbled & grumbled about it she just ignored him and he actually did it!

Just as i thought it could not get any funnier – mum gave him $180 where the plumer started collecting his things… and then mum said – “excuse me – my change please?” mum said he was obviously annoyed about this notion of having to give her $2 and said to her that he only had a $5 note… not to be dissuaded though, mum persisted with “you charge funny price – not $175 or $180 – i wait for you to find my change!”

By this point i was seriously ENTHRALLED by mum’s morning and asked “so – what happened?”

“He went to his van and went looking for $2 i guess – he took a long time. i saw out the window that he was sitting in his van for while… i not know why. but then he come back and gave me the $2 in small coins!”

I asked if she said anything – or if he said anything… she said she told him “take so long to look for $2 – lucky i not charge you!” and then commented about how criminal it is that a plumber charges MORE than a doctor when she KNOWS that plumbers don’t go to uni!


Haha – why do i get the feeling that this guy is NOT going to want to fix stuff at mum’s place in future?

I mean really, let’s think about a non-ethnic parent doing this? i CANNOT imagine it happening…. ahhh – ethnic parents!


What People Think of Me…

In the last couple days I have apparently discovered that a few people’s perception of me is different to what my own perception of me is… and let me tell you that it has made me second guess a few things…

On Saturday the MIL (Mother In Law) and i went to the function centre to talk to the chef there about the menu for the upcoming wedding reception. While we were waiting for our coffee MIL saw a hand-drawn picture and asked what it was. I told her that i needed to talk to the cake people and tell them that i was going ahead with the cake that we had discussed. She took a look at the picture and asked me if this was my cake – i said to her tat it was and described a little more about the cake looked like. After a moment she smiled and chuckled…

Me: what’s so funny?

MIL: oh sweetie – honestly it’s nothing… *laugh* its just that you are so over the top aren’t you?

OVER THE TOP!!!!! That is how I am thought of?????

That night i asked Mr A if he thought i was ‘over the top’ – he replied with telling me that i was slightly over the top but that he loved it and that he wouldn’t mind if i was more over the top – he thinks that it means that he looks after ‘his woman’ and was more than happy to be perceived a little OTT (Over The Top) as he was a little OTT himself (he is – bless him).

So it got me thinking – maybe… just maybe comparative to THIS society’s view of the norm i may be a little over the top – but if this people saw what the Gulf culture was ALL about they’d bloody realise that i am CONSERVATIVE by comparison!

I mean really – so i want a five tier wedding cake… and so i want each tier to actually be a double cake… really – is THAT over the top?

Gee – I suppose I should be grateful that i left out the cake would have a row of crystals on the bottom tier!

Conversation with “The Man”

Sorry I’ve been a little bit absent in the last month. In fact come to think of it i cannot actually believe that a WHOLE month has come and gone and i have not written anything! In actually there have been a few things have going on but as its been a little bit of a whirlwind few weeks I haven’t really had much of a chance to stop and write it all down and post it! I know it’s terrible… but let’s move on shall we?

In the last few weeks Mr A and I have been tossing up about heading abroad sometime next year. We’re wondering if we should perhaps head off to Europe with his parents (as they are going next year for his Dad’s 60th birthday – its a surprise so don’t tell him!) or someplace different… the rationale is we are thinking that inshallah we want to look at start trying to start a family so maybe we should get the BIG trip outta the way? Personally I’ve done the whole Mediterranean and Europe experience and much prefer sandy beaches and relaxation – but Mr A hasn’t been to Europe.

And then one day last week I get a VERY interesting call while I’m at work:

Mr A: I was looking online at places we could go – how about maybe Africa? Or Cairo?

Me: Oooohhh – Egypt would be lovely! I’ve actually not been there – it would be fantastic!

Mr A: No – ugh; why don’t you listen to me – i said CAIRO!

Me: yeeeesss (thinking *what does HE mean?*) – I know – Cairo is IN Egypt!

Mr A: NO! Cairo is in AFRICA!

Me: yes babe – Cairo is the capital of Egypt – it IS in the continent of Africa

Mr A: Sweetie; Egyptians are Arabs –

Me: yes babe – they speak Arabic and are recognised as Arabs but it is located in Africa…

*I start to hear clicking in the background of the call…*

Mr A: i JUST ‘Googled’ it – Cairo is the capital of Egypt… you were right.

And in my mind i sat there thinking: AND DON’T YOU BLOODY WELL FORGET IT!

Me: oh well – I guess i was just better in Geography than you were sweetie – when we get home can we have that sticky date pudding that you make so well?

See – now he feels all ‘capable again! Seriously – my man is TOOOOO cute!

I’m Back!

We got back on Friday afternoon – it was such a blissful 2 weeks; warm, sunny lazy days spent by the pool. Walking from Seminyak down to Kuta almost everyday and then back to our hotel. We did HEAPS of walking; I cannot begin to tell you how amazed we both were at the amounts of walking we did…

The hotel was FANTASTIC – we stayed at The Breezes, the staff were lovely and friendly and really helpful.

Mr A and I arranged a few activities (meaning Mr A told me what he wanted to do and I arranged the activities!) that involved white water rafting (this was purely a Mr A idea – but by the end of it, although we were all wet and tired I loved it!), buggying (through muddy tracks and through 3 local villages) which I think Mr A was entertained at his “how muddy and dirty can I get my mrs?” challenge! Needless to say we finished this VERY dirty indeed – and by “we” I mean primarily me!

The BEST excursion was when we both went to see (and swim with!!!!!!) the dolphins… in the next couple of days i’ll write more about the antics we got up to and pop on some photos of us and our trip as soon as i download them to my computer (I have scheduled it in for this Saturday!)

Stay tuned folks… and before i forget: THANKS for ALL the wellwishes (for said trip) and your visits here in my absence!

Mr A Gets Promoted!

At First I didn’t actually see it this way – a promotion. It took Susi and I chatting about the situation and chuckling of at the madness of it all to realise that it is, indeed some kind of a promotion i guess!

Remember how aaaagggeeesss ago i mentioned how a male family member came to Perth to visit? Remember how I mentioned how mum has high hopes for said guy and then all hopes were dashed when both people’s personalities conflicted? Well; when he left Australia he had left some of his luggage here and had asked that we send it back to him. “We” became ‘MY’ job and my mum cut all sort of responsibility on grounds that since they had had an argument that clearly the responsibility would be mine. And so (yet again) i sucked it up and dealt with it.

I told him that I would more than happy to send his (22kg of) luggage once he had transferred me some money – I mean, didn’t get me wrong here; I have no problems sending 1, 2, 5, or even up to 10kg worth of luggage but aft3er a few quick quotes online I discovered that sending 22kg worth of luggage was hardly cheap… plus i have a house to pay for (does anyone realise that porcelain slab tiles are NOT cheap?)

So after nearly a YEAR later – yes, nearly a year the guy transfers me some money – far be it for me to tell him that since the start of financial year that the cost of sending said items would be increased. Whatever; I was just happy to have it off my hands (and not have to hear anymore about it from my mum… again and again… and again!).

Everything was organised through Discount Excess Luggage – yes it is some shameless advertising but the man was really great (for more details head to and the prices were really competitive! The plan was that he would pick up said item from my mum’s place; weigh item, call me and I would give him my credit card details. What actually happened was that he went to pick up said item and mum would not take any of the paperwork from him?

The poor guy had no idea what to do – i spoke to my mum later and apparently the rationale in her mind was that as NONE of it was her responsibility that she would not take ANY of the paperwork. That this man HAD to give me the paperwork – she told the poor guy where i worked and said that he should drop it off to me!

When the guy (his name was Laurie by the way) said “you can give it to your daughter when you see her” apparently she said a few things – mum told me that she had told him that i do not always come home and that sometimes i sleep at my friends house!


When I told her that she KNEW that I most definitely was not staying with a “friend” and that I am staying with my in-laws and my husband she went onto say “no – I tell him you sometimes stay with your friend; what for I make bad my daughter’s name? I not want to tell him that you won’t come home to see your mother”

I mean let’s just be serious here for a second – as IF the Caucasian man is seriously caring what I do with my life and where I am living! I mean – WHO would he gossip this ‘vital’ tid-bit of information to??? If anything, her behaviour has probably made him go “yep, I’d be living with my friend too sweetie!!!”

Anyway; although at first I was a little frustrated, annoyed and flabbergasted by her incessant denial Susi and I realised that in some twisted way she had finally acknowledged Mr A’s existence as being something more than (how she affectionately refers to him as) ‘Satan’.

And it only took us this long!

Another 3 years and he’ll be my boyfriend/fiancé!

Underbelly: the Golden Mile – John Ibrahim & Me

So last night was the premier of Season 3’s Underbelly: The Golden Mile. For me I hate to admit it BUT it was definitely a little bit of a 2 hour drool fest on Firas Dirani…

Firass Dirani *drooooooll*

I did make an attempt to disguise my interest in said Lebanese guy and tell him that I very interested in the story of the Golden Mile and that he knew that I have been an avid Underbelly watcher  (of the last 2 seasons). Alas my man knows what the twinkle in my eye means and knew that I was more than fascinated with Firas Dirani (even though I am genuinely interested in the account of the golden mile!) – I found him rather scrumptious; I have no idea if it was the fact that he’s Arab and I DO have a penchant for the Arab looking man (I know Mr A is not Arab but he does look like one – he has been mistaken for one many a time – much to his frustration!) or the fact that he was completely ripped (hmmm – 6-pack), or the bad boy with a heart image that he displayed but I was clearly riveted!

I am genuinely AMAZED by the corruption that was going on at the time in the NSW police department and seriously hope that things have changed! I mean; I would like to think that no more corruption exists within the realms of police VS drug dealers – BUT I am not completely delusional and know that in every industry there will always be those that play the system…

So what did I notice about last night’s Underbelly? I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that whether its 1988 (this season’s series is between 1988 – 1998) or 2008 the standard Wog/Arab man’s uniform remains the same: jeans, fitted black bonds shirt, thick chain + something Adidas (trainers for day or jacket if its cold). I love how formal attire includes: ‘dress’ jeans + fitted black bonds shirt + leather jacket + thick chain.

I noticed that the goatee was more than alive and well in the late 80’s and I wondered how much hair gel the boys on set went through whilst filming!

Anyway; all in all it looks like a rather good season! If you wanted some added information regarding the series here’s the link:

Oh & some extra info on John Ibrahim (because now I am a little fascinated):

 John Houssam Ibrahim (born 25 August, 1970 in Sydney, Australia[citation needed]) is a Lebanese Australian Kings Cross nightclub entrepreneur.  Ibrahim has attracted media attention due to his involvement in the 1995 Royal Commission into the New South Wales Police Service and alleged   association with organized crime and outlaw motorcycle clubs. [1]

        John Ibrahim resides in a sprawling cliff top mansion in Dover Heights, New South Wales. The property is currently undergoing an $AUD800,000 renovation. [2] Ibrahim also owns a number of additional properties in the same street and surrounding suburb and he is known to drive a black          bullet proof Bentley motorcar.[3]

On 25 July 2009 it was reported that Ibrahim had separated from his socialite interior designer fiance, Chelsea Mitchell.

Oh and here is a pic i managed to find of the real guy!

Hehe – I can’t help but wonder if my mum would prefer that I be with this man (who may essentially be allegedly part of ‘the mob’) rather than Mr A? Imagine the conversation?
Me: mum – Mr A and I have broken up and I am now with an Arab Muslim man who is worth millions; he has recently divorced his wife!

Mum: it’s ok; never mind he been married before! Mabrook (I can imagine crying at this point – she will be totally overjoyed!) – Wallahi I am SO happy for you – I have made dua for this day! Tell me what does he do?

Me: Well, he owns his own nightclub, his been convicted of assault and is involved in organized crime and I am pretty sure that he is not really a practicing Muslim.

Mum: oh but he is Arab – no one is perfect!

For more information regarding the Underbelly series head to:

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