My mother tries… tries again…

There is a reason why I wrote the post I didn’t tell you….  If you remember I had mentioned that my mum had been trying to override my engagement by getting other Muslim and Arab men to propose to me – such actions were done without these men being aware of my current engaged status as my mother was telling them that I was completely and utterly single (see the post If at first you don’t succeed) leaving me to feel totally crap as I have to turn them down without making my mum look like a deranged Arab mother!


As I had also mentioned, my mum has been away for the last 2 and a bit weeks *insert dance of joy, whoops of jubilation of marching band proportions* (it’s seriously been blissful and joyfully peaceful) and will be returning this Sunday *insert grim reaper tones used in movies*… I have been calling her every couple days of which the following question has been asked each and every time: “do you miss me?” it is very hard to answer this question without offending her; the first response is “no”… but upon further thought I realise that I do miss her in a different way – I miss the way she used to be – the way my mum was fun, interesting; the mum I used to want to go out with… the mum that used to have a social life that didn’t revolve around me; the mum that went to the movies, that went out for dinner… sadly that side of my mum disappeared years and years ago… that’s the mum I miss; the mum I will always remember. So instead of answering her I try to steer the conversation elsewhere by saying that I hope she’s having fun – that I am enjoying myself and that I wish the best for her on this trip…


I thought that perhaps this trip would give her a chance to re-think about the acceptance of my engagement with Mr A; of understanding that my decision has been made and that I am truly happy – that perhaps she would finally understand all of this and be a positive part of my engagement; my wedding, and both of our lives. I idiotically thought I had made headway when on my last call she asked how things were between me and Mr A. I answered saying that we were great and happy to which her response was simply “oh”. I chose not to read into the fact that her tone sounded disappointed – like she had somehow hoped that we would fall apart… I thought if I was patient, positive and persistent that we would both come out of this with hope and happiness.


And then last night I see that nothing has changed. That I stand here more frustrated, angrier, more distrusting of her than I have been. Less patient, less wanting to persist with her insistent SHIT… because that’s what it is people – it is the biggest load of crap, disrespectful idiocy and frustrating lunacy that I have to contend with. Where she won’t tell the extended family of my engagement on grounds of me being previously engaged and that that engagement had not worked out and so she doesn’t “want to make me look bad in case this one not work”. Let’s call a f**ken spade a spade shall we? Let’s admit here once and for all that she hasn’t told anyone else because SHE’S HOPING IT DOESN’T WORK OUT!


Last night I got a message for a guy – Omar; a man I don’t know, a man I have never met before who apparently wants to “get to know me”. A person who clearly wants to be more than friends – his message read: “hello; my name is Omar – I am interested in getting to know you baby”


Firstly who says ‘baby’ on the first ever message they send????? Automatically jumping to the conclusion my mum had something to do with this – I decide to check the facts and not assume the worst (i.e. that this is completely her doing). I replied with:

“Hi Omar; do I know you? Have we met before? Where did you get my phone number?”


He must have realised that my message was less than warm as he replied with: “sorry if I’m disturbing you – I got your phone number from your mother. No we have not met before”

I replied with: “you are not disturbing me but please do not message me again. Wassalaam”


OH MY GOD!!!!!


Seriously at this point in time I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry from the frustration that my mum has YET AGAIN done this to me! That yet again I have to NOT say anything in order to save her reputation….