It has seriously been madness the issues that she’s gone through because whole she was away she did not realize that her passport was expiring! So that when she did finally book her return date (originally meant to be early December) she was told that she would need a new passport and would need to organize it before leaving!

Then there were issues with the fact that she was using a different surname on some of her ID – then she arranged to come back not realizing that all the information had not yet been processed! So forgive me if after three different times I plan to go to the airport (at which with every attempt I am literally bursting at the seams with stress & anxiety) & then literally get a call 2 hours before leaving the house then (the other time) half an hour before leaving the house; if I think that this time I cannot take another day off work I mean seriously – how many times can I use the excuse “I need the day off because I need to pick my mum up from the airport?” before they just look at me & roll their eyes then tell me where to go? maybe this time I’ll let her catch a cab home & just visit her there? In all honesty I did think of telling her that hubby had the day off if she kicked up a stink, but she surprisingly was pretty good about catching a taxi!

Anyway – here I am at her place with the thousands of butterflies in my tummy to keep me company & the knowledge that my mum will criticize what I’m wearing, if I’ve lost or gained weight, if I’m too tanned/too pale & the fact I have nail polish on my toes and she’s not here… Her stuff is here so I know she’s actually come back & the car is still in the garage… And yet she’s out… So I thought I’d chill here for a bit and see what happens in an hour… Push comes to shove I’ll take myself to dinner!

I do hope you’re all well… More info regarding the chronicles of (my) mum to come….

I am so excited! I know you’re all going to say “but you just came back in April!” yes, BUT that was a whole group of us & this is to celebrate our anniversary!

Woo-hoo!!!!!!!

I’ll see you all when I get back… Stay safe, pray that we’re safe & I’ll chat to you all soon.

xx

Last Friday I bought a few lip glosses in the same brand in numerous different colours. I went home and tried a few and surprisingly found them better than expected (especially for the crazy cheap price paid!) and wanted to exchange one of the clear ones for a pigmented tube one….

I went to a different store after reading the receipt that said that they only refund faulty products but that they exchange within 14 days with a receipt + the product in original condition.

I must first say that whilst I should not stereotype, I am usually the queen of stereotyping my own (people) so I stand firm in my own personal allowance to stereotype others! in saying that this girl was NOT blonde – she did look somewhat “vacant” in the eyes and she would have been ion the 15-17 age group.

Me: hi – I just wanted to swap this (at this point I take out said clear tube lipgloss) for this one (picking up coloured tube of gloss) – I have the receipt in the bag

Counter Staff: um – yeah – sorry, but like; we don’t do refunds here

Me: Yep – that’s fine; I did read that on the receipt but it says you can exchange within 14 days – I got this (*pointing to gloss*) yesterday and its still all sealed…

Counter Staff: oh… oookkaay (*VERY uncertain look on her face*), I’ll just need to check with my manager to see if I’m like able to do that

*the girl then goes to chat with a similar looking looking girl who looks about the same age… after a minute of chatting (which is fine) they both walk over to me*

Store Manager: So, um what was the problem with this gloss?

Me: nothing – I just want to exchange it for this other one as I wanted this colour instead

Store Manager: yeah – so, like we don’t do refunds here… it says so on the receipt….

Me: yep (I am still chatting to her as normal) – I don’t actually want to refund anything – the receipt says I can exchange. So I am exchanging this gloss for this other one which is exactly the same brand and price – just a different type…

Store Manager: oh ok then… (*looking at other girl now*) – just exchange it on the system

Anyway; it took the girl well over 5 minutes to figure out how to do it on the computer… at which time I stood there patiently wondering what has happened to the female youth and what possible hypothesis could be generated from their clear inability to do things that I am CERTAIN I could do (along with other staff I worked with at the time) when I was in the retail industry…

It led me to wonder about the possible options as to why I am finding this occurrence more prevalent:

1: Are standards to mental capacity AND ability to converse dropping within the recruitment process? Could this be because now all applications are all done online and that even then you are essentially just filling in boxes with your details? Therefore the HR department cannot properly glean that this person is in fact as alert as a pretty zombie?

2: I have noticed that girls are wearing makeup (as well as dyeing their hair) A LOT sooner these days and I am wondering if in fact all that bronzer we wear starts to permeate into our forehead and starts to kill off brain cells? This also helps to explain the mental capacity of the people in Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore and that show called Essex Style (all of which I adore watching as they all make me laugh!)

3: Is it all the hair product that girls use these days? It may be a ploy by large manufacturers to ‘dumb us down’ so that we are more susceptible to marketing mechanisms and therefore will spend more money… All that hairspray MUST affect more than just the ozone!

4: Does the movie “Clueless” have a lot MORE to answer for than we realise? Aside from the stereotype that Alicia Silverstone played let me TRULY clarify the idiocy of this: we in Australia do NOT sound like Americans… we have our own rather distinctive accent –WHY are our 15-17 year old girls sounding as though they belong in the valley? Can these girls PLEASE stop saying “like” SO much? Is that, like, possible? Like, at all?

I am not saying all those within this age group are over bronzed/tanned, too accessorised and don’t understand the concept of what a skirt is ACTUALLY meant to be about – nay; I have had and met some exceptionally articulate young individuals who are clearly going to make it beyond the perfume counter and are ACTUALLY willing to help… the sad thing is I find the ‘other’ variety far, far more depressingly prominent…

if this is the future of my yet to be conceived female children I can only think that I hope that unlike their mother they DO marry a petroleum engineer!

If it satisfies a cultural norm; something expected of you from your remote African tribe than who am i to jude – this is what your tribe does… BUT we are NOT a Zulu tribe – last time i checked it was not part of western culture to have said piercings… but aside from that – they’re hardly bloody attractive! In fact – when i DO see someone with one of those HUGE holes in their ears i have an overwhelming urge to see how good my aim is try and throw something through it!

I once got to chatting to a fool person who had one of these piercings (in both ears with big metal ‘O-Rings’ in them) and had to ask a pertinent questions: “when you eventually want to take out the ring, will your earlobes eventually ‘shrink’ back to size?”

I was essentially told “no”… so does this mean that we are destined to see a WHOLE group of people in nursing homes/retirement villages or on the pension or in the park in 40years to come sitting there watching their grand kids play in the park with their walking stick along side of them AND these huge holes in their earlobes?

Am i the only one who thinks this trend is plain dumb?

Do men find this attractive?

oh la la - what big 'holey' earlobes you have!

Then over the next couple years you notice more and more; you get annoyed when school kids don’t get up for the aged, people with children or pregnant woman. You start to dislike school holidays… and you start to wonder about certain things you see in store(s).

Which brings me to the reason of this post – i LOVE fashion; i visually devour my Shop magazine each month and LOVE when next stock comes into stores… I love colour and shopping centres and new season items and Sale signs…. but there is something things i don’t get!

I understand the concept of a ‘perennial’ clothing item – I used to work in retail and I “get” that some items can be worn in summer, winter, autumn and spring… but then there are items that are NOT perennials; items that are CLEARLY either winter or summer…. like a bikini – clearly summer right? like stockings are for colder climates – it’s not really something you would wear at the height of summer weather.

PLEASE explain to me the concept of shorts… with stockings?? I do NOT understand how this is meant to be “in” now – how this meets the conceptual requirements of winter attire? HOW? I mean, let’s think about it – shorts are summer attire… stockings are not… my logic is this: if it IS too cold to wear shorts then HERE is a novel idea… wear PANTS! Especially when you see said wearer wearing maddeningly shot shorts + thick stocking + thick jacket/cardigan + umbrella (as its raining)… i don’t care if its in; it does NOT look right – i think perhaps if i must allow the possibility of the shorts and stockings combo it would be with fishnets – only because fishnet stockings aren’t really stockings are they? They don’t actually provide any warmth… but then unless your a burlesque dancer; shorts + fishnets + heels are generally not what one wears out… well; unless your Brittany Spears and you’re off to shoot your new video clip!

Am I the only one who thinks this? is it a sign of my age that I look at this and think – WTF?

Any thoughts?

Anything in the fashion world lately that you’re left thinking – “what the??”

before leaving for Bali (like, the DAY before) Mr A and i discovered that i was a few weeks pregnant. We were so happy – seriously; Mr A cannot wait to be a dad! And whilst there was a part of me that was like “oh my GOD – i am now TOTALLY an adult!!” i was gracious and loving the thought that Mr A and i would be bringing a child into this world. we started planning, hoping and loving….

And then when we returned and i went back to work everything started getting back to normal – i hated that i could see that i was beginning to gain weight (read: my skinny leg jeans were beginning to show a slight muffin top!) but that it was not obviously a baby belly (yet); we told the family and friends – we booked our first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat on my birthday – as that was scheduled to be our 12th week….

on the tuesday before my birthday (10 may) at 4.15am Mr A rushed me to hospital… because i was miscarrying.

i had thought about not telling you all – as though none of this had happened at all… but i can’t do it. i am not one for denial – maybe i am built that way because all my mum does IS deny things that upset her… but i am different – i always have been one to look the pain, the sorrow and frustration in the eye and then build from there… that through sorrow comes adversity

it has been the most painful experience i have ever been through in my life – in more ways than one. The bleeding is beyond anything i could have ever imagined… the pain and above all the fear – the fear that i had this beautiful life inside of me that i was falling inlove with, that was a part of me and a part of Mr A – that we had helped to create was leaving me… that everything, every painful millisecond was far, far from my control.

Even as i type this i am humbled by the experience – we were hoping to start a family this year but even we did not anticipate that it would happen so soon… it is said that Allah only gives us the challenges that he knows that we can endure – we will be ok inshallah

i am SO grateful to Mr A – to his parents; his mum came to visit me at the hospital before i went into surgery for my DNC. For Mr A being a star and not leaving my side through each and every moment – i cannot imagine how he felt watching it all… an then taking me home only to have to call an ambulance to get me back to hospital because i had passed out bleeding on the bathroom floor… i am beyond grateful that i have him in my life.

i felt i needed to tell you – that while i have some readers that comment and others that don’t; i feel in some ways that i had some obligation to tell you what’s been happening… so that’s that then…. onward and upward?

Since a lot of my friends do ask my opinion on stuff that i have finally decided to get another blog that it purely gal related stuff – reviews, makeup, clothes etc… you catch my drift!

i had thought about morphing this one but i seriously could not bring myself to bastardise this blog for what i had originally created it for… i sorta feel like you guys know a part of the real me… and that with some of you, i actually know you back!

So, i would seriously love your support on the new little blog that i will be having along with this one… don’t worry – Days of an Arabian Life will still be my primary sounding board… stay tuned people!

Details for the other blog:

That’s So Farah

thanks peeps!

xx

So what else has been happening? Lately I have been engrossed with the “Family Bali Trip” – comprising of roughly 3 weeks in Bali. We are all going from different lengths of time: we all leave together, Adam and I, Tony and Teena (my in-laws), Charles (Mr A’s uncle), his wife Sam and their 2 children + my best friend Susi. Charles, Sam and the 2 as well as Susi are staying for 10 days, once they leave Tony & Teena then stay on an additional 2 nights and then once they leave Mr A and I stay on for an extra 5 days for us to (finally) have our alone time! We are SO excited!

Let me tell you that planning this trip has been an effort in amongst itself! my mother in law is a social butterfly – which is both great and tiring; I am a helper and like to organise things (I think it comes from having to arrange and organise everything for mum in recent years PLUS a knowledge of if I arrange and organise things then at least I know it gets done!) which means that a LOT of running around was done!

When we first thought of this trip as being a group excursion there was a point where it was getting bigger than Ben Hur – Teena and Mr A kept inviting people and family with other people consistently emailing me to find out how much to would cost, changing dates, asking a million questions about the hotel… you catch my drift! At one point the people count was at 14 from numerous other states in Australia…. My poor travel agent deserved a bonus for all the constant changes I was having to arrange!

Not to mention the issue of payments! OMG – do you think all payments were made on time? hell to the no! Do you think that I emailed and SMS’ed everyone saying “next payment is due on XY date” – of course…. Do you think this occurred? No! Ethnics I tell ya – we are on a timetable all of our own – its almost like a due date is purely a guide and definitely flexible! Apart from Susi everyone made payments late – the funniest thing is Susi and I are the youngest (do all the arrangements for both Mr A & I – hehe; aren’t I a good wifey?)! It must be because we both work for government departments that has ensured our timeliness – that or the fact we both come from ethnic backgrounds where we are keenly aware the stereotype is that we are never on time with anything and have thus decided to rebel the stereotypical ethnic mentality!

So FINALLY everything was booked and paid for! I picked up all tickets – Teena then asks me if I have arranged holiday insurance for us all and how are we getting to the airport! Hmm – me thinks my keen organisational skills have rendered everyone else in the family inept to do anything else!

Mr A overheard this discussion along with the ‘list’ of things that Teena has planned to get done whilst in Bali (but that is another story) and decided to intercept:

Mr A: what are you doing mum?

MIL (mother in law): What do you mean? There are just a few things I need to get done while we are away and I just wanted to make sure if everything for the trip was organised…

Mr A: no, that’s not what I mean – I married her already – she’s my support crutch not yours… get your own!

MIL: what are you going on about?

Mr A: my wife does stuff for me – that’s the rule; get dad to do stuff for you! if you tire MY wife out with organising stuff for you who’s going to help me? no one – ask dad; that’s why you married him…

MIL: But tony doesn’t speak Indonesian and he won’t want to come everywhere with me…

Mr A: that’s not my fault… you have to make him… she’s mine… and you can’t have her all the time…

Haha…. Mr A has a thought process all this own!

And i couldn’t bring myself to approve them!

Not because i don’t think you’re all entitled to your opinions – but rather seeing the copious slings and arrows thrown at one another left me hurt, made me feel battered – made me feel that i’m truly not this hard nosed bitch that goes around attacking people with hurtful hateful words… That in hurting someone else i only really hurt myself. That seeing all the things that everyone wrote saddened me to realise that this is how war and hate starts… and i don’t wanna be a part of that…

Hiba – to you i am sorry i retaliated. Whilst i don’t think an opinion can be formed through the gleaning of one blog post, what most upset and astounded me is that you percieved it was ok to read and comment on my life/views/circumstances AFTER YOU decided to opt out of our frienship (i do believe the words used were either “extract” or “eradicate” -either way, neither are particularly positive in tone!). I sat at lunch with you, listened and treated you with respect. I then walked away on good terms and wished you happiness – and i meant it… And yet whilst you opted out of that friendship; un-friended me on facebook and chose to cut yourself out of my life you thought you had a right to comment on my blog posts, on my thoughts, feelings and opinions? THAT’S what amazed me… That if you’d read more you’d realise that my situation is harder than i had ever told you. My dear; you decided to not have me be a part of your world – the cordial, polite, logical and respectful thing would be for you to also NOT be a part of mine. If paths crossed, so be it – otherwise, please – lets be adults about this!

But i’m digressing… i spoke to my dearest closest friends about this situation – some said i should hurt those who hurt me; that they should get their just deserts. I spent a night having terrible sleep thinking about the “situation” and a weekend of Mr A spoiling me as he felt that there was something wrong and all he wanted was for me to be happy…. I waited till the silence of early morning and realised that for all parties involved this is the best option… The option of a peaceful and respectful “please, lets let bygones be bygones” the world is filled with enough war of words already.

I’m sorry i cannot approve your comments – you all know who you are… I thank you all for your thoughts. To my beautiful best friend and her defence – i love you so much and am grateful i have you in my life!

Words may seem like only words but in reality they long remain after any physical damage may be done… Sometimes they do far, FAR more damage than any fist or gun can…

F
xx

*sigh* tis the way i suppose!

I saw my friend anita the other day and she had a very interesting theory that i am GOING to try! Generally my mum tends to SERIOUSLY “somber-ise” me, she renders a one way conversation where i feel glum and do not talk unless spoken to for fear for what could happen. As a result and over time it takes at least a few hours before i am back to my oh so cheerful, happy and smiley self… Mr A hates the sad mood. So Anita theorised that maybe i should try to override the downward mood – be madeningly happy, ignore or bypass negative comments and energy and just shower delerious happiness to have her home….

I am going to give it a go – i mean i seriously have nothing to lose! I am VERY sceptical but hey, lets try it eh? I will take a page out of her book in ignoring and denial!

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Say a prayer, make dua/cross your fingers that all works out better than i could have dreamed… Wouldn’t that be a turn up for the books????