My mum comes back to Aussie-land on the 27th of this month… Thats less than 26 sleeps till her return.

I am a terrible, TERRIBLE daughter because i am hoping that she’ll extend her trip so she’s away longer!

Have you ever listened to a person talking and just though “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah”? Whilst listening to them rant and rave all you want to do is get through the phonelines and punch them in the head?

Welcome people – welcome to my afternoon!

I am confused… I am consistently baffled by the confusion that some
people have between day time and night time; between wearing something to a particular place comparative to wearing something else to another place.

Sadly I find that in a lot of cases the culprit is a female; I am curious abut their rationale; about what makes them think “yes; this is totally fine to wear out in public in the day time”

For example; I never truly understood why some girls felt that it was completely reasonable to wear tight clothing to the Mosque for Eid; or a short skirt and boots? It looks like you’ve taken a wrong turn and have mistaken the mosque for Metropolis (a night club here in Perth). Lets me honest here; I don’t wear a hijab (head scarf) and I will admit to the odd knee length here and there, the short sleeved shirts, etc (you catch my drift – lets not write a list here!) but there are certain clothes you wear to certain places at certain times! Another example: what I wear when I’m hanging out with Mr A on a relaxing Sunday is hardly going to be the same as what I’d wear to a night out on Saturday or a birthday party – I go so far as having ‘day’ jeans and ‘night’ jeans; of which the night jeans are dressier, darker in colour and longer so I can wear higher heels, etc)

So what did I see today as I am coming back to the office from my lunch break? Some (possible Japanese) woman wearing a SPARKLY white ‘dress’ (it covered her bum – that was it… it vaguely covered her as s), sky-high silver stilettos (for the record I have nothing against sky-high heels – as a person who is not particularly tall I live in high heels), BIG teased hair, a shiny white handbag with all this bling on it AND a satin colourful scarf that was tied around the handle of the bag.

What is wrong with some people???

And that leads me onto something else I would like to rant about -
tunic/shirt dresses: I own a few of these shirts that I have bought over the last 12 months; some are long sleeved, some are short, some have embellishments and look dressy enough for that late afternoon to night-time occasion… BUT none of them are dresses!!! BUT all of them CLAIM on the tag to be a dress!!

All of them! Now, like I have said – I am HARDLY the tallest thing walking around and these things (top, dress – whatever) reach just barley past my little tooshy; if I wore it on its own (and I have tried people – in the safety of my bathroom in front of my full length mirror I have attempted to check out the hilarity of the claim ’shirt dress’ as per the tag) and bent down I can feel the air skimming past my upper thighs – WHO on earth thinks these things are dresses!!! I mean; I will let it fly with a pair of leggings and flat boots + longish jacket but really???

So I ask you – what have you seen (someone wear lately) that left you thinking:

WHAT THE????

They are a changing!

Well, well; I remember a time not too long ago where I craved Nando’ (in fact, I do believe that I mentioned it here during Ramadan?), fish & chips, fried chicken and delicious crusty white bread (with that delectable soft middle) topped with butter (gosh I like butter; in fact I would go so far to say that I would actually be eating a slice of butter with bit of bread rather than the other way round!). What about creamy pasta laden with cheese and oozing comfort food? Oh be still my heart…

And then the sun started peeking out through the clouds….

And then I start to see the winter clothing move towards the back of the store as the trans-seasonal clothing comes out…

What have I done? I have satisfyingly eaten black forest Tim Tams, baked cake after cake under the guise of keeping Mr A and his dad happy (when we ALL know I was baking for the love of frosting!); sat in the house with a good book cookies or chocolates (sometimes both) while it rained outside… and now I am kicking myself!!!!!

WHY? Because its getting to a point where the day’s muffin(top) is me! Because it’s getting warmer… and I can see the backyard pool calling my name… and the bikini in my top drawer is mocking me as I may not be able to fit into it this summer. And so the pressure is on!

How does this happen? But I have a plan… I don’t know if its working yet but a plan is there nonetheless!

But today I realised something that I am AMAZED about….

Gob smacked; I have realised that I am LOVING the taste of salad!!!!!

Me? Me who normally turns my nose at salad unless its drenched in dressing! Me who normally could not fathom BUYING salad… now I am yearning the stuff! Me? Yearning salad? With little to no dressing…. Who on earth would have thought?

Oh how the times are a changing!

PS: I am still baking BUT I have enforced (upon myself) a limit of 1 self baked cake per week!

Hello people’s – here I am!!! I had the day off yesterday (bliss) and bought a pair of lovely high heels (nude coloured snake leather). In essence they are probably nothing special as they’re a little bit of a ‘basic’ shoe; as they don’t have any odd design and just a high heel peep toe – BUT I did needed (yes I did say “need” – I know you boys may say that I don’t really need another pair of shoes but I will say that I do… I do really, really NEED and WANT another pair of shoes!) a nude/beige coloured pair for the summer that I could wear to work!

And then today I went to lunch with Claire….

And came back from lunch…..

With *shamed face*…
Another pair of shoes… BUT these were flat, casual and silver… and were sort of gladiator inspired with rivets and studs.

And of course I TOTALLY needed them!

I did…

Sorry – SO, so sorry for being the complacent blogger of late! i would love to say that it has been becasue i have been busier than usual but i actually don’t think that i am any busier now than what i was a few weeks ago… so really in essence i don’t particularly have any real rhyme or reason for not blogging!

BUT in saying that i am writing now… not only that BUT i am also going to make a promise that i will not be so complacent anymore! That i PROMISE to write AT least 2 blog posts per week and keep you all up to speed with the ‘goings on’ in my life and what my latest rant is all about! PLEASE feel free to KICK MY ASS if i let things fall by thw wayside… althought like i said, i do not intend to let any wayside falling occur!

So in saying that what on earth has been happening in my life?

The search is still on in relation to wedding reception venue – Mr A’s mum and i are now moving in the direction of seeing everything and then just eliminating what we both dislike and discussing pros and cons of venues – thankfully we both have similar ideas and we do (thankfully) get along and are able to communicate on most things (i am still gobsmacked at the HUGE invitation list she has complied of the people she wants to invite… but me thinks that is a blog post all unto itself!)

Speaking of mothers i am certain you’re all wondering what on earth is going on with mine? All is well, in that she his healthy and not constantly crying (thus i am calling her ‘happy’) AND she has decided to extend to her trip overseas…. this is actually a little bit odd; as every single time i talk to her and ask if she’s happy she doesn’t exactly say ‘yes’. in reality she’ll go on and on about how she misses me and about how she wishes i was there and that she cries thinking about me (she has cried to me over the phone – very gut wrenching!) BUT then she extends her ticket… who knows! As long as ther is calm in both our lives that i am happy… I don’t know how else to put it; to say that things are easier that she’s away is a terrible thing to say – but i do miss her; its strange isn’t it…. and i think i should explain what i miss: i miss the old her – the way she used to be.

Considering the fact that Mr A’s mum and i get along like a house on fire it frustrates, saddens, agrravates me to think that really there was once upon a time when MY mum and i used to get along… when we’d chat, hang out, i used to  be albe to tell her about the boys i liked… but it’s gone… its been gone for about a good 10 years now and i have no ida what happened – where it went from who i am and what type i was growing up to be into being told and suddenly being a disapointment… i don’t know – sometimes i want to ask her how we got this way; how we went from a really close mother/daugther team – us against the world to this; a mother and daughter who dance around each other and don’t even talk about anything ‘real’ anymore. I have no idea… i don’t know what’s sadder – the fact that we have come tp this point or the fact that i cannot be bothered with it anymore? That as long as i do my duty to care and provide for my mum and demonstrate respect that my ‘bits’ are done. ugh – i don’t know…

Anyway; now that i have brought you all down i will bid you adieu - OBVIOUSLY this is ONLY going to be over the next few days…. I fully intend to keep my promise to you all…

COMPLACENT NO MORE…

ME!

People – I am in the middle of looking for wedding venues for our civil wedding + reception.

Let me advise you all that whilst doing my research I am totally and
utterly BAFFLED and DISGUSTED at the prices that some venues think are completely within reason to charge a happy couple on their ‘most memorable’ of days.

RESTAURANTS ARE BEING WARNED – VENUE & FUNCTION CENTRES BE AWARE: I AM NAMING & SHAMING!

However i will also be congratulating, thankinng and essentially providing FREE advertising to all the FABULOUS venues out there in Perth!

Forgive my possible/probable swearing dear readers BUT if you are a venue, restaurant, function room/centre, yacht club or hotel and think you are safe to charge whatever ridiculous amount please for a wedding reception than this will be your day of reckoning! So passionate am I about this that I am VERY tempted to start a whole blog or website and title it something scathing!

Readers – if you have any ideas please let me know!

So far I think I will give awards befitting the lunacy. I mean, we’ve all heard of places winning awards for great food and service so why not the opposite?

Stay tuned…

Last night I gave my mum a call – it had been 3 days since I spoke to her and when I had spoken to her 3 days ago it was really loud where she was (she was at a wedding).Anyway; she is chatting and telling me about great the wedding was; how the man that got married got married to a non-Arab and that his sister had had a proposal but that her parents had declined the proposal on grounds that the man didn’t come from an Arabic family – gee; I think that may have been a dig at me??? Especially the part when she was like “and masha-Allah this girl is such a good girl! Listening and respecting her parents wishes” (yeah, yeah – bite me! all I heard was ‘blah, blah, blah’ while I visit my ‘happy place’).

Anyway so towards the end of the ‘conversation’ (I say it in inverted
comma’s as I have come to a decision that since my mum doesn’t really want to hear about what’s going on in my life – since most of it involves Mr A that I just won’t tell her what’s going on with me; this also means that my internal call time has decreased and also makes mum feel important as all I am doing is listening to her and then getting off the phone) I tell her that I will call her in a few days insha-Allah and that Mr A sends his salam to her (as he was right next to me and told me to send his salam to her – a thing he asks I do with each conversation I have with mum):

Me: Ok mum; I’m going to go now but I will try and call on Friday night – Mr A sends his salam to you.

Mum: I love you… everyone here sends their salam to you – do you want me to tell them anything?

Me (I have to admit that I should not have been baited by her tone but I am seriously getting tired of the denial she is insisting in relation to Mr A; so I say the following;): Yes mum; because you raised me to be polite to those who send their salam, please do pass on my salam to aunty and uncle and to the family you speak to – shall I send your returned salam to Mr A?

Mum: ok – I tell them you send your salam when I get off the phone. I love you ok?

At this point, Mr A is a little upset and has asked me to ask my mum when she is going to give him a chance? That he is a decent person; a Muslim and would just like her to give him a chance. All this is said to me while I am on the phone to my mum – I’m pretty sure that my mum would have heard him -

Me: mum; I love you too – but this isn’t what we’re talking about – when are you going to give Mr A a chance? he is a good Muslim man; you can’t think I am going to ‘change my mind’ when I have gotten to this point – you need to accept this; I’m going to have children with this man – when are you going to accept this?

Mum: I love you *dial tone*

She hung up on me!

This is the first time my mum has hung up on me.

Today is Friday and I am beyond ANY urge to call her.

In fact I think I am beyond any urge to contact her in the foreseeable week at all.

I am BEYOND all of her antics.

*NOTE: The funny thing about it all is that Mr A will be the one who tells me that i should call her; that i should make sure she’s ok! After she hung up on me on thursday night I personally wanted to just switch my phone off and be done with it; it’s Mr A who told me to keep my phone nearby as he thought my mum would call me back as soon as she calmed down. And so I did keep my phone nearby… she didn’t call!

Last night I hate to say it but Susi has made me aware and interested in a show that I cannot believe that I may be tuning into every week – Momma’s Boys.

Based around single boys and their over-protective momma’s the one to watch is Mrs B who has claimed in her video about what type of girl she
DOESN’T want for son (Jo-Jo):”I cannot have a black one; I can’t have an Asian one; no fat-butt girl,” she said. “No Jewish girl! No way, no way! I don’t want Jo-Jo to be with a Moslem girl or an Arab”

What does she want for her son then? “I did imagine a girl who’s got a college education, a good career
going, who does cook, who’s going to keep the house clean. Am I asking too much? Who wants someone who’s got fleas?”

The irony of it all is that she herself is from Iraq! A catholic Arab who seems to have forgotten how to pronounce MUSLIM!

So the basic outline of the Show is this:
At the beginning of the series, 32 single women are contestants seeking romance with any of three single men (firefighter/paramedic Michael Sarysz, real estate broker Robert Kluge, or college student Jojo Bojanowski). The men’s mothers are brought in to live in a house with the female contestants while the sons are housed in a nearby
condominium. The men make the decisions whether each woman should stay or go, but the mothers actively seek to influence their sons as to those decisions.

The funny thing about this is that it has led me to think about a few things:
How much a parent can love and be in love with their child: Just as Mrs. B seems eerily in love with her son in some odd, grotesque way I have
heard many a man’s mother comment about how perfect they perceive their son to be. Similarly my mum may never be happy with whatever decisions I make (because to her she knows best – and that really I should just let her make all my decisions for me) but in some strange way I think that this is how my mum feels about me; that in her own way that if FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I was never with a partner and it was always with ONLY her that (in some way) she would be completely satisfied; that this would be enough for her.

It’s bery difficult for me to answer the constant question I have of “how’s your mum? Is she happy over there?” that I seem to keep getting from Mr A, His parents, some extended family and my friends. How do I answer that? thinking about it baffles and frustrates me. When my mum is here she is crying (literally) about how lonely she feels; about how she is alone in the house and that I have ‘just left her’ and that after everything she has done for me she cannot believe that I would treat her this way. When she is here I am brought down with how she makes me feel guilty and frustrated by how I am unable to converse with her and… oh lets leave it at that shall we?

But now that she’s there with HORDES of people, children, family maids, loudness and constant banter etc, you’d think that all would be well – that the world would be her oyster; that the fact that nearly everyone there in that country is Muslim and there is no language barrier and the exchange rate is fabulous that she’d be happy right? WRONG! She is still upset – that she misses me, that she wants me to be there with her; that all the offices are were shut until yesterday (Monday 28/09/2009) because of Eid, that for some reason she can’t use her ATM card and that she cannot understand why I sent her there????

WHAT MORE CAN I DO???

I am tortured by this feeling within myself – frustrated and baffled
with what more I can do? The only solace I have found is that my mum has seemingly aggravated her older brother (my uncle) with her obsessive and distrusting behavior that he has asked me if this is what I have to deal with – thankfully, finally ONE person understands! I am appalled with myself for the feeling of wanting to ‘put her’ somewhere and not have to ‘deal with it’. I hate even having have written it. I do not understand what I am meant to do here anymore. And try as I may to NOT care (and I must say that I do seem to now have a slightly tougher skin) I do; I am frustrated by the feelings of never being good enough, of being the bad daughter, of not knowing how to make her happy whilst giving myself some semblance of peace and serenity. And even as I write this I receive an SMS from my mum (my mum doesn’t write sms’s so she would have gotten someone else to write it for her) that reads; “Mum’s girl, I love you very much. Ring me tonight”

And I am torn – torn between being angry with her for the ways she makes me feel; torn between being upset with her that I am just meant to do whatever she asks and that I was going to call her anyway tonight and now that message just makes me NOT want to call her.Annoyed that all she wants to do is dictate to me. Frustrated at modern day technology that has sucked me in (as I am a little bit gadget obsessed) and has now made me constantly accessible to her antics…

I hate it – I hate all of this and wonder when, when, when will it end? I wonder what will cause it to end? And then hate myself even more as I wish I was someplace else where she would not be able to contact me; where I would not have to deal with this.

Ya Allah; I am so sorry… I am so sorry that although I pray each and
every day to you asking you for patience that it seems at the very core of who I am that there seems to be an insufficient amount of patience. I don’t know what more to do Allah and all I want; all I have EVER wanted was just a little bit of peace and quiet.

Because I’m tired people… So very very tired!

PS: Dear readers I am sorry that this post has morphed from a discussion
about a reality show to a little emotional rant that has rendered me wanting to have a little sob at work… damn that scheduled monthly visitor!!