Last night I hate to say it but Susi has made me aware and interested in a show that I cannot believe that I may be tuning into every week – Momma’s Boys.

Based around single boys and their over-protective momma’s the one to watch is Mrs B who has claimed in her video about what type of girl she
DOESN’T want for son (Jo-Jo):”I cannot have a black one; I can’t have an Asian one; no fat-butt girl,” she said. “No Jewish girl! No way, no way! I don’t want Jo-Jo to be with a Moslem girl or an Arab”

What does she want for her son then? “I did imagine a girl who’s got a college education, a good career
going, who does cook, who’s going to keep the house clean. Am I asking too much? Who wants someone who’s got fleas?”

The irony of it all is that she herself is from Iraq! A catholic Arab who seems to have forgotten how to pronounce MUSLIM!

So the basic outline of the Show is this:
At the beginning of the series, 32 single women are contestants seeking romance with any of three single men (firefighter/paramedic Michael Sarysz, real estate broker Robert Kluge, or college student Jojo Bojanowski). The men’s mothers are brought in to live in a house with the female contestants while the sons are housed in a nearby
condominium. The men make the decisions whether each woman should stay or go, but the mothers actively seek to influence their sons as to those decisions.

The funny thing about this is that it has led me to think about a few things:
How much a parent can love and be in love with their child: Just as Mrs. B seems eerily in love with her son in some odd, grotesque way I have
heard many a man’s mother comment about how perfect they perceive their son to be. Similarly my mum may never be happy with whatever decisions I make (because to her she knows best – and that really I should just let her make all my decisions for me) but in some strange way I think that this is how my mum feels about me; that in her own way that if FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I was never with a partner and it was always with ONLY her that (in some way) she would be completely satisfied; that this would be enough for her.

It’s bery difficult for me to answer the constant question I have of “how’s your mum? Is she happy over there?” that I seem to keep getting from Mr A, His parents, some extended family and my friends. How do I answer that? thinking about it baffles and frustrates me. When my mum is here she is crying (literally) about how lonely she feels; about how she is alone in the house and that I have ‘just left her’ and that after everything she has done for me she cannot believe that I would treat her this way. When she is here I am brought down with how she makes me feel guilty and frustrated by how I am unable to converse with her and… oh lets leave it at that shall we?

But now that she’s there with HORDES of people, children, family maids, loudness and constant banter etc, you’d think that all would be well – that the world would be her oyster; that the fact that nearly everyone there in that country is Muslim and there is no language barrier and the exchange rate is fabulous that she’d be happy right? WRONG! She is still upset – that she misses me, that she wants me to be there with her; that all the offices are were shut until yesterday (Monday 28/09/2009) because of Eid, that for some reason she can’t use her ATM card and that she cannot understand why I sent her there????

WHAT MORE CAN I DO???

I am tortured by this feeling within myself – frustrated and baffled
with what more I can do? The only solace I have found is that my mum has seemingly aggravated her older brother (my uncle) with her obsessive and distrusting behavior that he has asked me if this is what I have to deal with – thankfully, finally ONE person understands! I am appalled with myself for the feeling of wanting to ‘put her’ somewhere and not have to ‘deal with it’. I hate even having have written it. I do not understand what I am meant to do here anymore. And try as I may to NOT care (and I must say that I do seem to now have a slightly tougher skin) I do; I am frustrated by the feelings of never being good enough, of being the bad daughter, of not knowing how to make her happy whilst giving myself some semblance of peace and serenity. And even as I write this I receive an SMS from my mum (my mum doesn’t write sms’s so she would have gotten someone else to write it for her) that reads; “Mum’s girl, I love you very much. Ring me tonight”

And I am torn – torn between being angry with her for the ways she makes me feel; torn between being upset with her that I am just meant to do whatever she asks and that I was going to call her anyway tonight and now that message just makes me NOT want to call her.Annoyed that all she wants to do is dictate to me. Frustrated at modern day technology that has sucked me in (as I am a little bit gadget obsessed) and has now made me constantly accessible to her antics…

I hate it – I hate all of this and wonder when, when, when will it end? I wonder what will cause it to end? And then hate myself even more as I wish I was someplace else where she would not be able to contact me; where I would not have to deal with this.

Ya Allah; I am so sorry… I am so sorry that although I pray each and
every day to you asking you for patience that it seems at the very core of who I am that there seems to be an insufficient amount of patience. I don’t know what more to do Allah and all I want; all I have EVER wanted was just a little bit of peace and quiet.

Because I’m tired people… So very very tired!

PS: Dear readers I am sorry that this post has morphed from a discussion
about a reality show to a little emotional rant that has rendered me wanting to have a little sob at work… damn that scheduled monthly visitor!!

Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!! Well just as i sit here thinking that everything is oh so calm in my life! So here’s the deal – I awoke this morning to a message from this guy… this guy who my mum had tried to set me up with when last time she was over there – when I was already engaged to Mr A. This guy (Omar) who I had (or so I thought) rather sternly told him to not call me anymore (but not gone into why because in all seriousness I don’t particularly want to have my mum look like an idiot). This guy who I had thought got the message and then my mum went and sent a package of Australian souvenirs and ‘things’ and (little did I know) signed it from me… so that once Omar received said package he tried to call and then messaged me saying that he loved the present I got him (leaving me wondering ???). I finally clicked and sent a rather curt message back saying “I am glad you liked your present but it was not from me. It was from my mum – I had nothing to do with it” (I talked about this ’situation’ in depth in “My Mother tries… tries again…” in January this year).

And then this morning I get a message from ‘dumb ass’ asking me to join him on some chat site…Really? Dude? What is your problem??? What the frig is my mother telling you and why is this STILL happening?

My theory/answer: Because I am being polite to her (my mother), because I am NOT being like a bull in a china store and yelling and screaming about the other half – because I am trying to maintain my mother’s appearance of sanity and dignified respect where she is trying to ’set up’ her daughter when she is clearly OFF the market!

Because I have been trying to be polite to this poor guy who has become my mother’s saviour/pawn whilst in the midst of all this HE has seemingly forgotten that I have rejected his advances – not once but twice! I mean seriously!!!

But this morning as I read the message then continued to get ready for work I was not maddening seething as I find I sometimes would be (by mum’s antics) – I think this is primarily because she is overseas and its Ramadan so I am trying to have a more benevolent spirit! Anyway this morning something in me thought “why am I pussy-footing around?” and “why don’t you just call a spade a spade and be done with this messing about”.

So my reply to Omar was this (verbatim):
‘Thanks for your invitation but I don’t think my husband would be very happy with me chatting to a man I do not know. I hope your Ramadan is going well; Wassalam.’

Well – lets see how he (and my mother) likes them apples!

Hey people – it seems like an age since i last wrote… actually when ramadan rolls around i find that i’m generally not writing heaps. But i’m here now so lets go with that!

Work’s been busy and life at home is as easy, breezy and beautiful as a Covergirl advertisement… I guess having mum being overseas helps lots on that side of things! I’ve been calling her every couple of days though to make sure she’s ok. I desperately hope this trip will be good for her – good for us and that all work out so that there is finally less friction/frustration between us (insha Allah).

Well i have a HUGE day planned today… It’s Mr A’s mum’s birthday today and there is a surprise party planned that is making me all tired just THINKING about all the things i need to get done/picked up today… More info to come people!

Well i’m waiting to go in to see the slava snowshow here in Perth at the Regal Theatre…

I’ll let you all know how it goes!

Why do my Arab clients ALWAYS feel the need to ask me where I/my parents come from as soon as they hear my name?

Why do they REFUSE to continue to discuss an issue with me until I tell them my family background?

And then WHY is it so important to know if I am married or not?

Bless them though – they refuse to talk to anyone else as apparently only I understand their “issues”