Snugg(ie) as a bug in a rug!

Mr A sent me this funny, funny forward about snuggie’s – eat your heart out….

Very David Thorne indeed!

—–Original Message—–

From: Charles [mailto:CXXXY@nsw.gadens.com.au < mailto:CXXXY@nsw.gadens.com.au> ]

Sent: Monday, 25 May 2009 4:59 PM

To: Global Shop

Subject: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

This is an enquiry e-mail via https://globalshopdirect.com.au < https://globalshopdirect.com.au/> from:

Charles  <CXXXY@nsw.gadens.com.au> < mailto:CXXXY@nsw.gadens.com.au>

Good afternoon

I am writing to express my disappointment that despite today being the 28th day of the ‘28 day delivery period’, my order for 2 Snuggie blankets (order no. 05045777) is still ‘processing’.

Your promise of lowered heating bills remains unfulfilled and I may be developing a minor swine flu, but the worst part is that my housemate and I remain un-Snuggled.

If you find this state of affairs satisfactory, then kindly credit the money back to my account.

Alternatively, if you are remorseful about taking away from my quality of life with your tardiness, I would be willing to accept an extra Snuggie as an apology (I would like one for the office).

Think about it

Charlie.

From: GSD ContactUs [mailto:GSDContactUs@mmlogistics.com.au < mailto:GSDContactUs@mmlogistics.com.au> ]

Sent: Tuesday, 26 May 2009 9:21 AM

To: Charles

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

Hi Charles,

Thank you for your email.

I am sorry for the delay. Due to unprecedented demand, the Snuggie is out of stock until 06/06. Once they arrive back in stock and we are to debit at least postage and handling from your account, the product is dispatched the next day via Australia Post Parcel Post which has a national delivery period of up to 7-10 working days.

If you have any further enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact us!

Kindest regards,

Annie | Customer Service Representative | GLOBAL SHOP DIRECT

T: 1300 137 598| F: (02) 9768 6388| gsdcontactus@mmlogistics.com.au < mailto:gsdcontactus@mmlogistics.com.au>

Sent: Tuesday, 26 May 2009 11:41 AM

To: GSD ContactUs

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

Dear Annie

Thankyou for your email and your generous offer to waive the postage fee. 

If it is not too much trouble, could you please re-address the package to ‘The Estate of the Late Charles Thomas’, as by 16 June my housemate and I will have long since frozen in our beanbags. I hope you don’t require a signature on delivery.

So to further clarify my request from my previous email, I’ve decided to re-state it in list form.

 Could you please either:

1. confirm that by 16 June we will be the proud recipients of 3 Snuggie blankets (if you want to keep the booklight in exchange for the free Snuggie that’s fine);

or 2. return the money that you so punctually took from my card.

I hope that makes sense, I always find a good list helps focus the psyche.

Should you prefer a table or pie chart, please don’t hesitate to ask.

A particularly toasty friend of mine was fortunate enough to go with the Doona Suit this winter.

I have been deeply embarrassed to have to admit that after hyping up the Snuggie about the office, I am yet to receive one.

Please let me know whether I will be able to bring my extra Snuggie to work to prove them wrong, or whether I should take my money and invest in a Doona Suit.

I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Charlie 

Sent: Tuesday, 26 May 2009 11:55 AM

To: Charles

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies Hi Charlie,

Honestly if I could waive the postage fee, if I was allowed to, I?d have no problems doing so due to the delay and your humourous emails but Head Office does not allow this.

As for the money, we have not debited your account, we have only pre-authorised it. This pre-authorisation was released as soon as the system realised that we had no stock to fulfil the order. (I wish I could be as funny as you, but you can imagine why I struggle to while at work)

In summation, we have no Snuggies to send out. Because you have been so nice, I will keep an eye on your order and send out yours priority as soon as they come back into stock (06 June).

I wish I could do more but I am just a pawn. J

Thank you again for brightening up our days here!

Kindest regards,

Annie | Customer Service Representative | GLOBAL SHOP DIRECT

Sent: Tuesday, 26 May 2009 12:14 PM

To: GSD ContactUs

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

Hi Annie

It sounds like the HO (head office) might have you down and I hate to hear it.

Today they’re being postage Nazis, tomorrow they might stop paying you.

What then? Will you sit there and take that? Who are you, Rihanna?

Revolution starts with pawns like you and I think now is the time to take a stand.

Get up and stick it to them by sending me a free Snuggie when they arrive.

Burn your bra too if that helps, who knows.

You can do it

Charlie. 

Sent: Wednesday, 27 May 2009 11:55 AM

To: Charles

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies Hi Charles,

Currently flying the flag for you at Head Office regarding postage. Will let you know. J

If you have any further enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact us!

Kindest regards,

Annie | Customer Service Representative | GLOBAL SHOP DIRECT

Sent: Wednesday, 27 May 2009 1:57 PM

To: GSD ContactUs

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

Dear Annie

Please by all means call me Charlie!

I’m so happy to hear that you’re standing up to Head Office. I’m guessing from the way that you capitalise the name they’re pretty scary.

Unfortunately though, I’m not done with you yet.

You see what I really want is a FREE SNUGGIE. Not the second one I’m getting for paying twice the real cost of the first one, but a whole new third one.

Now I could tell that you wanted the graph I offered earlier, but were too polite to ask, so I’ve made you one anyway.

So that’s pretty much how I would like this to work.

I hope you’re well today with this nasty weather. What am I saying? You’re probably wearing a Snuggie…

Looking forward to hearing from you soon 

Charlie

Sent: Friday, 29 May 2009 3:10 PM

To: Charles

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies

Hi Charlie,

Sorry for the late reply, jousting on your behalf gets tiring.

Unfortunately, we can only waive the postage fees for you, which is $19.95. Again, I am caught in the net of bureaucracy. I sincerely apologise for not being able to provide a free Snuggie, especially since your graph was just…well… I?m speechless.

Again, I am sorry that I couldn?t exactly accomodate your request. But you gotta give me points for trying, right? J

Have a great weekend, the Snuggies are not far! J

Kindest regards,

Annie | Customer Service Representative | GLOBAL SHOP DIRECT

Sent: Friday, 29 May 2009 3:45 PM

To: GSD ContactUs

Subject: RE: Global Shop Direct: Missing Snuggies Hi Annie

You are correct; I do have to give you points. Please accept the following dot-points (the best kind).

You are possibly the slowest replier of emails I’ve ever encountered in my week long career of trying to get free things in exchange for mildly amusing emails. Don’t you do this for a living? For two nights I cried myself to sleep, which is a waste of energy when you’re fighting for survival in the cold of a Snuggie-less night.

You and your organisation have ruined yet another good day because tonight I’m going to a Mexican party and have successfully found the biggest sombrero this side of Mexico, which sounds like fun, until someone pointed out that I could have worn my Snuggie as a Mexican poncho. Now I’m just going to spend the night feeling like some incomplete hombre. Massive downer.

I KNOW that I am awesome at making graphs. One time I made this graph and it was so lip-smacking good that they asked me to meet to meet the Pope who was like ’sweet graph son’. So trust me when I say I’m aware and your flattery will get you nowhere.

In summation (my new favourite saying – thankyou), I am going to find it most difficult to have a good weekend without a Snuggie. Predominately because my housemate is understandably displeased at the way I’ve allocated our heating budget this winter. Sometimes she beats me.

If only I could show her that I’m not stupid by showing her that I got 3 Snuggies for the price of one. Maybe then she’d stop.

I hope you have a good weekend in your net of bureaucracy. That doesn’t sound as warm as a Snuggie but I guess its something… 

Charlie.

P.S. How do you make those smiley faces? They’re wicked.