About the possible single white female… I have spent the weekend somewhat frustrated (execpt for Sunday) at how I feel about this ’situation’. In all honesty I have had a few other “things” happen over the course of the weekend that probably haven’t helped the situation so I don’t quite know if perhaps I am being a little bit of a bitch!

This girl that I know – nay; that I am more than good friends with has done a few things that; on their own don’t actually account to much. In essence, a few of them combined don’t actually upset or frustrate me but ALL together there is something about this last ‘occurrence’ that doesn’t quite sit right…. And I have no idea why – call it gut instinct but SOMETHING is odd about this picture:

So there’s this girl right? And I’ve known her for agggeeesss! And although there was a 3 year gap where we didn’t talk or anything I still knew what was happening in her life (she was with her ex husband then and I was friends with her brother – her husband told her she was not allowed to have any non-married friends… apparently something about them/us single gals would ‘ruin’ their relationship! But that’s a whole other story!) Then when she and her hubby separated we bumped into each other (what can I say – Perth is small) and got to chatting… we swapped numbers and got pretty close. When Susi was holidaying it up in El Salvador (you know, eating beans and taco’s and wearing a sombrero while dancing the salsa, sipping on corona and trafficking Mexicans across the boarder…  – hehe) me and this chick saw HEAPS of each other.

Now, besides the common ground of (at that time) being single, being Muslim (and having gone to the same school) and being friends the 2 of us share a many number of other similarities:

We have similar sounding names that rhyme – we once went to a comedy act where the comedian asked random people in the room what they’re name was and what they did for employment. When he asked my name and then her name and that we both work for government agencies (different departments though) the comedian instantly quipped; “And then some material just writes itself!”

We both have similar facial features – we’ve gone out and people have mistaken us for sisters, cousins… you catch the drift. We both have olive skin, dark hair, same body types (although she’s taller) and similar styles in clothing. Often we have realised that we’ve bought the same thing or that I buy something and that she owns the same thing in another colou

I could go on (as there are a few others) with the similarities but seriously I cannot be bothered. What I will say is that in the last few months things have gotten a little ‘odd’ to say the least.

This guy that has been infatuated with her for years (who she has admitted to ‘jerking’ around and the way he is always at her ‘beck & call’) has suddenly ‘caught her eye’. Very odd when he is not her type at all completely her type – her type of man is either rich, tall and good looking, buff and a white-boy babe… or all of the above! I remember telling her that what she needed was a nice man; a decent guy who cared – not to be someone’s trophy as they wouldn’t appreciate her nor for her to have merely a hunky younger trophy (without much substance) because then she won’t appreciate him… suddenly this guy seemed like the one to be with.

And I helped her ‘get him’ – copious amounts of relationship advice was dished out. She analysed everything to the point of my frustration. She would say “I just want to be where you and Mr A are at now” to which I would say that getting to this point hardly happened overnight! She’d ask ‘what should i do if he says XX?’ or ‘what happens if he says YY?’ She’d call me whenever she needed help with an issue (which i had no problem with – i am more than happy to help my friends!), a conversation dissected, etc but if I called her it would go to her message bank first and then when I got the call back eventually she would have been busy with ‘her man’ or something.

So here are the abbreviated situations that have occurred:

A)    I asked her for help in relation to finding an imam for my Nikah (as all the ones I know also know my mum) – well she found one and promptly got her nikah organised and then completely forgot to get me the details – it took ages for me to get it! Oh and she completely forgot to talk to him about what i wanted!

B)     Oh – did I mention that her man is also a convert and that essentially they’ve been ‘together’ a total of about 4ish months????

C)     I told her details about the price of my dress for my nikah (when it actually happens; I got it from overseas) and conveniently hers (had to) cost more

D)    I mentioned that when I change my car (I was thinking about doing it soon) that I wanted to get a Mazda3 – well well, she now drives a Mazda 3

E)    She asked to borrow a few clothes from me – I had to drop it off to her work and it took about 6 months before I got it back – I had to ask and ask and ask – and even then I was requested to do so at her convenience and that she couldn’t do it any other time. I finally got a dress back (did I mention that I leant her 3 items but only got back 1?) which she claimed to have never worn (I don’t car even if she did) but when I took it out of the bag it seriously reeked of her perfume – seriously; it was like she’d doused the dress in her fragrance (why would you do that if you hadn’t of worn it?)! I was going to wear it on Friday night and had even popped it on (after a spin in the washer and dryer) – I didn’t even end up wearing the dress because Mr A was like “you smell like her… I don’t want you to wear that dress!”

F)     She keeps claiming that she and her man want to take Mr A and I out for dinner and each time I see her or hear from her she will lament that I am too busy to see her BUT she has never attempted to organise said elusive dinner.

But even those things on their own don’t bother me… she has told me (almost incessantly) that she admires my relationship with Mr A and how she loves the way he is with me and how much she lovesmy ring and how come her man hasn’t gotten her a ring yet when they’ve already had their nikah? And how she doesn’t know what to do because she NEEDS a ring and should she just buy the ring herself and then get him to pay her back (when she told me this I nearly dropped my phone in the sheer shock that she would even think this is an option)! She has asked HEAPS of questions about how much Mr A would have spent on my ring and what is the ‘bare minimum’ she will wear on her finger as she can’t believe that some people only spent $1500 on an engagement ring (I told her that a ring is, at the end of the day, just a ring! Would she rather be with an asshole who got her a nice gorgeous ring or a decent guy who adored her with an ‘average’ size/style ring?)

So on Friday I go to her work to pick up my dress; she’s all apologetic at how she’s an ‘terrible’ friend because I did drop it off to her and was so accommodating to her when she needed my clothes and that she was sorry. Then she asks if I want to see the ring that he had finally gotten her. She asks me if I like it.

I am BEYOND floored!

I do not know if I should laugh at the lunacy of it all or keep silent.

I am at odds with what I am feeling…

She asks me if I like it – if I think it’s pretty? I tell her I think it’s beautiful! And it is!

And why wouldn’t I?

IT LOOKS LIKE MY RING HAS BEEN CLONED!

My only solace is that my diamonds have more carats – but I can’t say anything about that without looking like a complete bitch! So I smile when she tells me that her’s are 2 carats (internally trying to calm myself). I can’t resist and tell her that of course I like it – it looks so much like mine! She tells me that her man did such a good job at designing the ring and picked out all the diamonds (wait a minute – that’s what I told her Mr A did… that he had helped design it and picked out all the diamonds with the jeweller; he actually did do that because I remember him taking half a day off and I wondered why he wasn’t at work and his dad would not tell me). She told me that it’s not the same at all as her band is slightly thicker and her outside setting and middle diamond setting are actually ‘stuck’ together like a bezel cut. I looked at her with that “who the frig are you kidding” look on my face and actually told her that Mr A should sue her man for breach of copyright! I mean he saw it before he bought her hers – what on earth is he thinking?

Listen – its not that I care if someone has a similar ring as me. Seriously – if Susi wanted a similar engagement ring one day I wouldn’t flinch – its all the other stuff coupled with this… it’s the fact that we both travel in the same circles – that people will look at my ring and think that I’m replicating HER ring. That she’s with a convert and I’m with a convert and that her ring and my ring look the same and that since she’s older I MUST be trying to be like her. 

I am actually amazed at how annoyed, hurt and dismayed I am at her behaviour.

Am I wrong?