Hey Zainab – this is for you!
Well I got my first ‘full on’ and ‘intense’ scandalous comment on my blog over the weekend that seemed to be a personal attack on me!
I am a little perplexed as to whether or not I should approve this thing! Although I think I will say a few words to said person; an open letter if you will to said person – you know who you are Zainab Al Qatar!
Dear Zainab:
Firstly let’s get all the preliminaries out of the way – thanks so much for reading my blog! Clearly the fact that I was able to have you both read and comment on my blog post means I am doing something right! Consider this your five minutes of fame!
I wonder how much time you spent on my blog or if you made a judgement based on one post alone. I must say I was more than a little surprised by your comment as it is far, far from the truth (and if you read more than 1 post you may have gained a little more insight into me) – you see here’s the thing Zainab; some people don’t feel the need to flaunt the proposals they’ve had or the good family upbringing they come from, their linage or what their family does. See; to me that doesn’t need to flaunted or broadcasted – as I am who I am. I want to be able to say what I’ve accomplished… and I am grateful and humble in all that I have. The fact of where my family is from the UAE and are locals is by the will of Allah and really doesn’t make me a better person or Muslim (which can hardly be accounted as an accomplishment can it?).
It’s a shame that you must have missed that religious lesson; it’s all good though – I am choosing to respond to your… hilarious, riotous load of crap by simply saying that Insha-Allah you have a good day. Let’s not get the cat-claws out and let me hope for you that your week is fantastic and that Allah grants you patience, an ability to acquire some sense of humility and a personal sense of self that is about YOU the person and what you have acquired and lived up to in life and not where you come from… if in fact you are even truly a local! Clearly from a psychologist’s point of you view you seem to have some bitterness and resentment that needs to be worked through… I wish the very best for you dear Zainab. I apologise that this post started with some hostility but as I continued to write I realised that it is truly pointless and that I can only hope that all things work out for you. In fact I must actually say thank you – because you made me smile… you made me sit up and re-read a comment because I could not possibly have read your offhand bitter sarcasm right… oh and you made me get off my ass and call my cousin Zainab to see how she is… it really has been such a long time since I spoke to her!
PS: Are you that person who keeps searching “when will he propose” and “what if he doesn’t propose?” into a search engine to get to my blog?
Have a little chuckle
This was forwarded to me today and although it seems a little lengthy it is well worth it!
From:
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal
Dear David
This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.
All the best, Jeff Peters
From:
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal
Dear Jeff,
Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 – Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.
Regards, David.
From:
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.
Cheers, Jeff
From:
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Do I get free shipping with that?
Regards, David.
From:
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.
From:
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to ‘lift this’, ”push that’ dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.
Regards, David.
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.
Cheers, Jeff
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn’t talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher ‘mum’ and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.
Regards, David.
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Go fuck yourself.
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.
Regards, David.
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Ok.
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?
From:
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
The middle one.
I need an opinion
People of the blogworld listen up!
I need an opinion…
I need your help to ascertain if I should or should not get the following item…
Flat brown mid-calf boots…. With tassels on the side of them… it is the tassel part the makes me think twice…
to buy or not to buy...
What do you think?
Help… I need an opinion…
You have mail
Its been a little while since I’ve blogged anything in relation to ‘the mother’ escapades… its not that nothing has been happening but rather that I am beyond caring at this point and have more than realised that my mother and I live in 2 completely different versions of ‘reality’. Plus I have also made the conscious decision to not be as frustrated as I have been towards to her actions/words/accusation/guilt trips and therefore just let them wash past me and treat her like the child she is behaving like!
But then something happened that left me a little confused….
A few days ago I sent a request to our national payroll to get certified documentation that I was a permanent fulltime employee with details regarding gross fortnightly income, length of employment – all pretty stock standard stuff that our broker needed to progress things in relation to getting us a house.
I got these details in the mail on Monday when I got home from work. I went to open said letter that was hand addressed in my full name and notices that it was sealed plus a line of tape was on it. Stranger still was that the letter seemed to open really easily –as though it had already been opened before! I thought that that was odd but didn’t think anything of it.
Last night (after I got home from work) I was getting ready to head out (me and Mr A’s mum were meeting up over cake to download music for impending engagement party) and placed a copy of said letter in my bag to give to Mr A. I have to say that at this point there was still a part of me that was slightly perturbed about how the adhesive really wasn’t particularly ‘sticky’ but “whatever” *shoulder shrug*. Then came the conversation;
Mum: Where are you going?
Me: Just out – I won’t be too long. I’ll call you when I’m on the way home…
Mum: do you think its worth it?
Me: (*while seriously rushing like headless chicken getting changed, popping stuff in bag etc*) huh?
Mum: Come home from work then go out again… I know maybe you have good money but is it really worth it?
Me: (*now thinking – ‘wait a minute… back up the truck – what are you talking about?’*) What do you mean mum? Who says I earn good money?
Mum: Well I just guess – what? Maybe about $XXX every 2 weeks? Maybe nearly this much?
Me: Oh my god – did you read my mail?
Mum: No – I just guess maybe…
Me: well it’s a bit coincidental that you seem to be able to guess the exact figure of my earnings and I get a letter in the mail the day before from my payroll that is a declaration of my earnings that seriously seemed like it had been opened?
Mum: I not look at your mail.
Me: ok – whatever… (* totally not believing her but still just wanting to get out of the house*) bit I will say this – the letter outlined my GROSS income. I am not agreeing or disagreeing with you about how much I earn but remember that ‘gross’ means before tax, before superannuation, before my HECS payment, before my higher supplement student loan and before union fees.
OH MY GOD!!!
I think my mum is NOW reading some of my mail – she gave me my mobile phone bill & the house’s electricity with the envelope clearly untouched!
I am going to add this VERY important disclaimer:
My first name starts with an “F” and my mum’s start with an “E” and we both have the same last name. There have been occasions where both of us have accidentally opened each other mail when an organisation has sent something in those window panel envelopes address to: “First initial + Surname”. BUT this letter was handwritten and had my full name (which has a few letters more than my mum’s) on it so there really was no excuse!
(On) Another Note: I have always made sure to NEVER discuss my income with my mum. How much I earn is how much I earn – it’s MY business and no one else’s. That’s that – even when I was at uni and working 2 jobs plus doing prac I didn’t tell her about how much I was earning… it’s my money. If she starts knowing how much I earn she’ll up the ante on stuff she ‘needs’ claiming that if I don’t buy it I’m stingy… ha – there will be none of that!
PS: I have just applied to have all this stuff mailed to me from the Army…
Quickie rant: Walk Faster
Do you want to know another thing that shits me?
People who walk insanely in the CBD when its lunchtime…
These people who walk at an almost stagnate pace like they have ALL the time in the world and insist on walking in the middle of the road or take up the most space!!!
MOVE people… seriously – I have the overwhelming URGE to take off my stiletto heel and poke you on the soft part of your head (who am I kidding? I ain’t that tall – all I wanna do is throw the stiletto heel with as much force as possible at them)!
But I don’t… and you know why? Not because they’re bigger than me; taller than me, fatter than me… no – it’s because I love my stiletto heels far too much & because I know how hard I had to search for size 36 (Australian size 5) heels!
NOTE:
I will admit that I walk rather fast & have been told by numerous people that they are shocked at the speed of my pace based on my little feet. I am not expecting everyone to match my pace… all I expect is these people to:
MOVE YOUR FEET OUT OF NEUTRAL PEOPLE!!!!!
My dilemma
What is it about the perfect pair of denim?
Lets forget about this recession mumbo-jumbo; the increased unemployment, the new US president and Beau Obama (ahem – that’s the new poochie that his daughters got – where have you been? PS I think Beau is sooo cute). Forget about the Australian stimulus package that will soon be in the mail and the discussion that parliament are having about a possible THIRD stimulus package! This is an important issue people… an imperative dilemma…
Here is the dilemma:
I am in search of a new dress for the engagement party. Now, I DO have a new dress that I bought a few weeks ago that I have yet to wear. It is a black satin knee length dress with a matte silver satin panel across the chest. I tried it on last night to make sure it still fit (as I think that I have gained weight) and ascertain that I still like it. Well, I must admit it looked really pretty on – understated and elegant!
BUT I generally wear and own quite a lot of black. Hence I was really hoping to wear a dress that wasn’t black – what I wanted was pink or a pale jade green or a regal and resplendent purple. But to no avail – Mr A found a very pretty plum dress at Alannah Hill but I wasn’t particularly sure about it… and so the search continued!
Strangely enough I have the shoes – I get them at the end of the week! I saw them in the shop window a few weeks ago and KNEW that these HAD to be mine… and they actually came in my size and fit perfectly (I have small feet).
And then today came the low blow – I found a gorgeous pair of skinny-leg jeans!
Oh why is it so hard to find perfect fitting denim?
Why do you find the perfect of jeans when you’re not looking for them?
Why do you go looking for a new pair of pants and come out with a new shirt?
Murphy’s bloody law I tell ya!!!
Here is my problem with the tiresome search for skinny-leg jeans:
I am not particularly tall & generally have to get all my pants altered (taken up) once I get them (so add on another $17 to the price of those pants my pretties!). This problem becomes particularly frustrating when in search of skinny-leg jeans as they are hardly ever ‘skinny’ around the knee area. I have come to realise (after trying on pair, after pairs, after pair… after pair) that where they are on MY knee is where they would be on the ‘standard’ height girl’s lower thigh! Just to put this into proportion I have also had to have some of my knee high boots (yes I have more than one pair – leave me alone) taken in… I will say that this does NOT mean that I have little stick legs but rather that my calves etc are proportionate to my small features… anyway – the gist is its hard to find skinny-leg jeans (but then again I think most girls have a problem when looking to buy a new pair of jeans *sigh*)!
I went back to work and promptly emailed Delicious (Denise) and asked the girls I sit next to at work abut this dilemma. The consensus was unanimous…
*sheepish look on my face*
I finish work early to go and get myself a new pair of indigo skinny-leg jeans!
Quick funny Mr A moment
Claire (from work) was reading about things about blood type which made me curious about what blood type Mr A is. So I sent him a quick email saying: “hope your day is going well – just wanted to ask what blood type you are?”
His answer?
“Greek”
Bless!
Where do I go with this?
I think I gained a size – from Sunday alone!
Oh my lord – I am still full from yesterday!
Overall I must say that although I am glad that the weekend is over and another work week is upon me there is another part of me that did have a rather good time over the weekend just gone!
First let me tell you all that I have eat far, FAR too much!
Yesterday post-christening was feastful! Off we went to this restaurant for lunch – only after copious photos were had of baby in christening gown where Mr A watched on in silence just smiling to ourselves… Mr A made attempts to get us out of going to the event all together under the guise that since our future children wouldn’t be involved in any sort of christening procedure that we shouldn’t be enforced to go! Haha – good shot but we ALL knew it was more about him preferring to go to the football game early that afternoon!
I must say though that the food was good! Out came the antipasto (I had some feta, olives and some marinated eggplant but the rest was not allowable food for me). Midway through that came garlic bread then fresh wood fire oven pizza’s (Margarita). After that was the salt and pepper squid with this deliciously creamy tar tare sauce you knew must be freshly made and therefore terrible for your cholesterol! Then came our mains (seriously – by this point I think there was little room in my belly for it!); but like a trooper I ate each and every morsel of that Swordfish with garlic mash topped with prawns and this delicious red cream sauce (*drool*). Then came dessert – a huge croquembouche (think tower of profiterole with toffee strands all around it) was served for us all to fawn at and then was quickly whisked away to be served in bowls (so we got a few each) topped with a delectable oozing chocolate sauce.
You think that’s all don’t you? You think that after that that was our full series of courses… HA! After about 20minutes when I was beginning to think that things were over and we were on the home-front out came the little goblets of gelato… oh my lord! And then there was even discussions about possible coffee and for the rest of the people to have liqueurs!! Thankfully Mr A didn’t stick around for all of that and Mr A go to watch the final half of the footy (I did have to ‘gun it’ there but it was more than worth him getting to watch his team defeat ‘some other team’…)
Meanwhile Mr A’s nonna spent the day with a wistful look on her face and made comments to me, Mr A and his parents about us hurrying up and getting hitched so we can make bambino’s!
Eeeekkk!!
FYI: whilst we were feasting on the numerous courses said baby had formula milk and then slept the rest of the time!
